If You Were Mine Read online

  Instead of answering that question, I say rather conversationally, as if only now thinking of it, “You know this is probably the first full-on conversation we’ve ever had.”

  That has her falling silent before finally shrugging. “Well, every time we ran into each other, you were always acting like a jerk. Guess we never had very much to talk about.”

  A smile curves its way around my lips before I fully agree with her words. “You’re absolutely right. I was a jerk.”

  That admission leaves a bit of surprise crossing her pretty face. She looks as though she’s considering something.

  “Go ahead,” I prod, “just say it.”

  Again she looks startled before simply shrugging her slender shoulders. After a quiet moment, she tucks her feet beneath her. The position makes her look even younger than she is. “Why were you always…” her words trail off as if she’s not quite sure how to push them out.

  But I know what she’s thinking. I can see it in her eyes. So I say it for her. “Asking you to come home with me?”

  Glancing sharply at her niece and nephew, she makes sure they’re fully engaged in their show before jerking her head in a tight nod.

  Sucking in a deep breath, I give her question some thought before folding my hands behind my head. “I’ve always liked you, been attracted to you. I guess I went about trying to get your attention the wrong way.”

  For a long moment, she doesn’t respond. Just holds my eyes with her own. A little bit of nervousness hums in the pit of my gut. Believe it or not, I’ve never said that to a woman before.

  Pretty crazy, huh?

  I’m a twenty-five-year-old man, and I’ve never once told a female that I liked her or was attracted to her. I don’t want to sound like a total jackass, but I never had to. Since I hit puberty, females have been all over me. And I’ve never had the urge to tie myself down to one specifically. Back in high school, I was way too busy trying to piss my father off. Plus, what was the point in getting attached when I knew I’d be leaving in a few years? And maybe I wasn’t willing to open myself up to anyone else hurting me either.

  I got enough of that crap from my parents.

  In college, I was focused on making my way to the pros, having a good time, and finally being free of my father. I didn’t slack off at school. Even though Claire has been operating under the assumption that all I did was party, I graduated from college with a three-point-seven grade point average. So, no… there just wasn’t time for relationships.

  Nor was there any interest.

  Then I returned to Green Bay and back to my parent’s realm. If I’d thought that I partied a lot in college, it was nothing compared to what it was now like. Too many people wanting to roll out the VIP treatment and way too many beautiful women throwing themselves at me.

  Claire is the first woman I’ve ever found myself interested in. And that attraction hasn’t waned in the three years that I’ve known her.

  Our eyes continue to hold and something shifts in the air between us. The tension suddenly becomes palpable. Just as Claire clears her throat as if she’s on the verge of saying something, Ty interrupts, “Auntie Claire, can you read me a story?”

  I catch her swift intake of breath, as if she’s relieved at the timely distraction. Without answering me, her eyes cut away from mine before settling firmly on Ty. “Of course, sweetie. Why don’t you run upstairs and pick out a few books.”

  Jumping off the couch, we hear his feet pound up the back staircase before thumping down again with a thick stack of books he’s barely able to hold in his arms. Curling up on her lap, he hands her the first one. As she starts reading, Charlotte soon migrates to her other side. Seeing that they’ve both lost interest in the show, I quietly click off the TV. For the next thirty minutes, Claire reads story after story to them. The entire time she’s doing it, I sit in the chair across from them simply listening to her. To the way she uses her voice to insert inflection and suspense into each book.

  Barely am I able to take my eyes off her.

  She really is great with Charlotte and Ty. They obviously love her.

  By the time she plows her way through the stack of books, it’s almost eight o’clock. Claire ruffles their hair before telling them that it’s time to head upstairs, brush their teeth, and go to bed. Just as she says that, we hear Max start squawking through the baby monitor.

  “Why don’t you take care of Max and I’ll get these two settled in bed.”

  She actually sends a grateful smile my way. The sight of it arrows clean through me as she goes into the kitchen before pulling out a bottle from the fridge to warm.

  Clapping my hands together, my gaze bounces between the pair of them. “All right you two, let’s get moving.”

  They both run up the back staircase to their bedrooms. Once they’ve brushed their teeth and I’m shown their pearly whites to inspect, I hustle their little butts into bed. They cajole me into reading one more story, as if they haven’t heard enough, and then I’m tucking them into bed. Just as I’m about to head back downstairs to wait for Claire, Charlotte is out of bed.

  “I have to go peepee.”

  “Ummmm, okay.”

  She races into the bathroom. After a moment or two, she’s back again before giving me an adorable smile, asking if I’ll tuck her in again. Exactly how am I supposed to say no to a face like that? I can’t. So I follow her into the room and re-tuck her into bed.

  I’m thinking that girl is going to be real trouble when she’s older. Once I tell her goodnight again, I’m just starting to head back downstairs when Ty comes out of his room.

  “I’m thirsty. Can I have a drink of water?”

  I nod and we both head into the bathroom. I fill up a small glass with about two inches of water. Giving him any more than that seems like a bad idea. Then I’m walking him back and tucking him in all over again.

  This time I wait silently in the hallway for a few minutes making sure no one else is going to pop out of bed. Just as I’m thinking it’s safe to head down, Charlotte is out of bed again.

  “I need some water, too.”

  I give her a hard look but all she does is bat those big blue eyes at me. They may not be the same color as Claire’s, but they still remind me of her, so it doesn’t take long for me to fold like a cheap house of cards.

  “Alright,” I grumble, “but this is it. No more getting out of bed. Got it?”

  Once she’s re-settled, I wait another five minutes before creeping slowly down the stairs and collapsing on an overstuffed chair. These kids are exhausting. Not that I’ve been thinking of having children anytime soon, but the last twenty minutes have me contemplating the merits of a vasectomy.

  No lie.

  As the silence settles around me, I realize that I can hear the soft strains of Claire singing. It takes another moment to realize that it’s coming from the baby monitor in the kitchen. Everything within me stills as I lean my head back and close my eyes, listening to the melody float through the device. Once her voice trails off, I hear a door open and close on the second floor before she’s padding softly down the stairs.

  I’ve been asking myself for three years now what it is about her that gets to me, and as of yet, I haven’t been able to come up with an answer. I just know there’s something about Claire Garrison that has totally sucked me in. When I’m around her, all I want is to be closer. I want her looking at me with something other than disgust and distain in her wide gray eyes.

  Today is the first time that’s ever happened in the three years I’ve known her. As that thought rolls through my head, I realize that I don’t want tonight to end. I don’t want to leave and see her again only to have everything shift back to the way it’s always been between us.

  Just as she reaches the last step, our eyes catch. It’s slowly that she halts in her tracks as if unsure about joining me in the family room.

  “I didn’t know if you were going to stick around or not.”

  Chapter Eight
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  JT

  Ha!

  Like I was going to just slink away.

  Not bloody likely.

  She should really know me better than that.

  Needing to ease some of the tension, I shrug all casual-like. “Just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

  She nods before her feet start moving again. Almost guardedly, her eyes continue watching mine as she takes a seat on the couch across the room. Not relaxing onto the cushions, she weaves her fingers together in front of her as if she’s not quite sure what to do with them. “I just want to say thanks again for all your help.”

  I shrug. “It was no problem. I actually enjoyed it.”

  Looking slightly uncomfortable, her eyes finally slide away from mine. “Well, I’m sure you’ve got plans. So, if you want to take off, that’s cool. I think all three of them are down for the night.”

  “Nope, I don’t have anything going on,” I say quickly. Then I’m clearing my throat, hoping this doesn’t turn into some kind of epic fail. “So I was thinking that maybe we could watch a movie.” Before she’s able to respond, I hastily tack on, “That way if Max gets up again and there’s an issue with Charlotte or Ty, I’ll be here to give you a hand.” Just a bit of a smile curls my lips. “I don’t know how Gia does it all day long by herself. Those three are definitely a handful.”

  Claire’s surprised eyes arrow back to mine before her mouth hitches at the corners. “I think it’s better now that Ty is in school. And once Max is a little older, it won’t be so bad.”

  I arch a brow at that. Is she forgetting that we couldn’t find Charlotte for a good twenty-five minutes? Or that Max was wailing earlier for a solid hour?

  Easier my ass…

  I don’t freaking think so. Those three should come with a warning label or something. So you know exactly what you’re getting into. They may look all angelic, but they’ll give you a run for your money.

  “If your brother has his way, there’ll be another Garrison joining the ranks in about a year and a half.”

  Claire actually bursts out laughing at that. I can’t help but grin in response. God, but I love when she smiles.

  Especially when it’s at me.

  Which admittedly, isn’t very often.

  Or, like, ever.

  “Yeah, he mentioned that to me, too. He loves having a big family. I think he’d have as many kids as Gia is willing to give him.”

  I like Claire when she’s like this. Smiling and laughing. Eyes sparkling with humor. Looking relaxed with her guard lowered. I don’t want to do anything to ruin this moment. This has to be the first time that she’s not dismissing me.

  Pretending I don’t exist.

  But then her face sobers, a shield quickly falling over her eyes. She goes back to looking a bit uncertain. “You really don’t have to stick around. I’m sure this whole domesticated thing is a huge bore for you.”

  “Have I looked bored at all this evening?”

  Of course, I’m going to attribute that to the hooligans now sacked out upstairs. Tonight has been oddly… enjoyable. Don’t think I’m not equally surprised by the realization as well. But I also think that has a lot to do with just wanting to spend time with Claire.

  I’ve spent the last seven years going out, being surrounded by groupies, fans, and so-called friends. Hanging out in nightclubs and at rowdy parties. Even before I turned twenty-one, I had no problem getting in wherever I wanted. VIP rooms with models and actresses hanging on my every word. The fights that would inevitably break out. Dudes who just wanted to goad me into throwing a punch so they could have their fifteen minutes of fame by loading a video onto YouTube before threatening to sue for pretty much nothing. The paparazzi looking for me to do something crazy or illegal so they could sell their pictures to the highest bidder. Not to mention the hangovers and waking up with random women in my bed the next morning.

  That lifestyle, it may have been a blast in the beginning, but it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It gets old real fast. Not to mention expensive. It’s like you’re always trying to up the ante to get the same kind of rush. It doesn’t take long to realize that even though there are all these people gathered around you, you’re still alone.

  You’re still isolated.

  Getting hauled into the GM’s office at the end of last season was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. It forced me to take a good, hard look at what I’d been doing and finally get my shit together or lose everything I’d been working for. Which was something I hadn’t been willing to do on my own.

  But I’m doing it now.

  I’ve been walking the straight and narrow since last January.

  I haven’t had a drop of liquor. And I’ve never been one to mess around with drugs. Not even steroids. I’ve never touched the shit. I believe in getting big the old-fashioned way- by building muscle mass in the gym. Plus, working out has always been an outlet for me.

  Nor have I stepped foot in a club since before the playoffs last year.

  And the women… haven’t been with one in months. It kind of sucks when there’s one specific girl you’re hung up on. It ruins all the others for you.

  When she says nothing, I add, “I could really use a movie night. You know, just chill out for a while…”

  I can tell by the skeptical look on her face that she’s contemplating what to do. We’ve never spent any real time alone together. And without the kids and their chaos acting as a buffer, it’s just the two of us.

  I can’t do anything more than sit on the edge of my seat waiting for her to make a decision. Is she going to kick my ass out or let me stay? I feel like I’m sweating bullets over here while she takes her time with an answer.

  “Ummm, okay,” she says slowly as if she’s still not completely certain about agreeing to this, “if you’re sure.”

  “I am.” The words shoot out of my mouth before I’m able to rein in my excitement. Needing to dial it down a bit and act a little more chill about the whole situation, I add as if us hanging out is an everyday occurrence, “It’ll be fun.”

  Claire shoots me a dubious look in response. Can’t exactly say I blame her for it.

  Picking up the remote, she tosses it to me. I catch it with one hand, my gaze never once releases hers. Relaxing just a bit, she smirks before rolling her eyes at me. Thankfully that move seems to break the escalating tension between us.

  “Why don’t you pick out the movie and I’ll make some popcorn.” With that, she hops off the couch before heading into the kitchen.

  I nod before turning on the TV and pressing Demand to see what new movies have been released.

  Hmmm.

  This is going to be tricky.

  I don’t want anything with a lot of nudity because I don’t want Claire to feel uncomfortable. So we’ll definitely be foregoing any adult movies this evening. And I’m not going to pick anything too gruesome, because I have no idea how squeamish she is.

  Now… I could go with a chick flick, but I’m not sure if that seems too date-night. I don’t want her thinking that I think this is a date even though- depending on how this evening turns out- that’s exactly what I’m going to consider it.

  So that leaves a good old fashioned psychological thriller. I think that will fit the bill rather nicely.

  I rattle off something that looks brand spanking new.

  “Is it out already? I’ve really been wanting to see that. I didn’t get a chance to when it was in the theaters.”

  I almost pump a fist in the air, but restrain myself at the last moment.

  Houston, we have liftoff.

  I repeat- we have liftoff.

  When Claire comes back into the family room, she’s carrying two large bowls of popcorn. Handing one to me, she sets hers down on the coffee table before heading back into the kitchen.

  “What do you want to drink?”

  “Water’s fine.”

  Now that I’m not drinking alcohol anymore, I’m trying to
watch what I put in my body. I’m not as fanatical as some of the dudes on my team who are into the whole- my body is a temple and I treat it thusly, but I am trying to be more conscious about what I stuff in my piehole.

  That’s a start, right?

  But I’ll be making an exception for popcorn tonight.

  When she comes back again, she hands me a bottle of water before picking up her bowl of popcorn and settling onto the couch.

  I don’t think I’ve ever seen Claire look so comfortable in my presence. Which is precisely why I keep my ass firmly glued to the chair I’m sitting on and don’t try setting myself up on the couch. Even though I would much rather be sitting closer to her, that’s not going to happen.

  Clearly, we need to ease into this whole relationship. And I can do that. I can take this slowly. I had no idea when I headed over here this evening to discuss some team bullshit with Liam that Claire would be watching the kids. We’re talking total jackpot score. Even better, her boyfriend is conspicuously absent.

  Double jackpot.

  Once she’s settled, I hit play. We’re both quiet as the movie unfolds. Although I have to admit that my attention is distracted throughout the entire film. Claire, on the other hand, is completely immersed in it. Yup, another pat on the back for choosing this particular movie. It was a good pick on my part.

  When we hear Max start squawking mid-way through, I hit pause while she runs up and checks on him. Luckily he settles back down again within moments, and we’re able to get through the entire flick. By the time the credits are rolling, I could tell you the general plot, but the finer nuances are lost on me because I was too distracted to actually get into it.

  Just as I’m clicking off the TV, her cell rings. Picking it up, her eyes jerk to mine for just a moment before she leaps off the couch, quickly walking into the kitchen. I can tell by the tone she’s using that Jackwad is on the other end. It takes about three minutes for her to wrap up the conversation.

  How do I know this?

  Well, for starters, I keep glancing at my phone, checking the time. Plus, I’m doing my very damnedest to eavesdrop on their conversation. The only thing I can be completely sure of is that she didn’t say I love you before disconnecting.