If You Were Mine Read online

  It makes me want to bare my teeth and growl.

  But you know what?

  I actually think he would like that.

  Doesn’t he get that I just want him to leave me alone?

  Apparently not.

  “In a few weeks.”

  “And you’ll be working at an elementary school?”

  Jeez. Who the heck gave him the low down on my life?

  Stupid question…

  I’m sure it was my brother. Liam couldn’t be more proud that I’m actually making my dream of becoming a teacher come true. He tells everyone and anyone who will listen. I think all the guys on the team know what my GPA is and what classes I’m currently enrolled in.

  I nod. My eyes keep flickering towards his. Every single time they do, his capture mine, holding them ensnared for long moments of time. He’s not even pretending to look away. It’s as if all the pretense between us has been stripped away. I shift uncomfortably in my seat as heat curls in the pit of my belly. “Yes. I have a placement this fall at one of the local elementary schools. Next semester I’ll be working at a different one.”

  I’m really hoping that this will be the end of our polite discourse and we can just go back to eating in stifling silence. It’s not like I’m trying to keep the conversational ball rolling over here. I glance at Ryan feeling suddenly annoyed that he’s not paying attention to what’s going on. He is completely oblivious. In fact, he’s still peppering Liam with question after question about playing pro ball along with pointless football trivia. Even though my brother’s attention is divided between Ryan and Ty, he’s obviously trying to get Ty to eat his dinner instead of simply playing with it.

  For whatever reason, JT’s words from earlier creep back inside my head before echoing uncomfortably.

  Which is completely ridiculous considering that Ryan’s interest in Liam or any of the other guys from the team has never bothered me before. So why am I reading more into it now? Simply because JT, who doesn’t know Ryan at all, threw out a few crappy comments?

  Why am I even listening to him?

  But still…

  Even though I don’t want them to, it’s like his words have taken root inside my mind. When my gaze unconsciously meanders back to JT, there’s a knowing smirk filling his eyes before one brow arches up ever so slightly as if to say- See? Exactly what I told you.

  Grrrr.

  I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who infuriates me quite so much.

  “Claire has wanted to be a teacher ever since I met her when she was fifteen years old. She was just a freshman in high school at that point.” Looking thoughtful, Gia pauses for just a moment before continuing, “Seems like it was just yesterday and yet here we are, six years later.” Slowly she shakes her head. “I don’t know where the time has gone.”

  My sister-in-law glances over at me, a small smile playing around the edges of her lips. Something instantly softens within me at the memory. Gia is the whole reason I was able to turn everything around for myself in high school. She spent a lot of her spare time tutoring me. The year after Liam was drafted to Green Bay, Gia stayed behind to teach second grade. And she continued working with me as well. Without all of her intervention, I wouldn’t be on my way to graduating this May with a bachelor’s degree in education.

  JT’s light green eyes arrow to Gia as she helps Charlotte scoop up some of her vegetables with a spoon.

  “You’ve obviously known Claire for quite a while. What was she like?”

  “Claire has always-”

  Not wanting Gia to delve into our past, I quickly cut her off. “I don’t think JT’s really interested in hearing about all that.” Nor do I particularly want him knowing anything more than what he already does.

  A slow smile curves his lips upwards. “Of course I’m interested.” He flicks a lazy glance towards my boyfriend. “Aren’t you, Ryan?”

  But Ryan isn’t paying the least bit of attention to our conversation. He’s in the middle of telling Liam a very detailed story regarding his glory days at UW- Green Bay from the sounds of it. Something about running the ball into the end zone and blah, blah, blah.

  I can’t help the hot blush that stings my cheeks as I quickly elbow Ryan in the ribs. Even though I’m trying to be discrete, I know by the grin on JT’s face that it hasn’t gone unnoticed. Looking completely oblivious, Ryan turns towards us, brows drawn sharply together as if he’s annoyed at having been interrupted. For just a moment, his eyes bounce between JT and mine.

  “Huh?”

  Even though JT clears his throat, he sounds like he might burst out into laughter at any moment. If one damn chuckle manages to escape, I think I might actually leap across the table and throttle him with my bare hands. I’m not even kidding right now. Although, in all honesty, I’m tempted to strangle Ryan as well. All he’s doing is proving the point JT was trying to make in the hallway earlier.

  “Gia was just saying that she met Claire when she was fifteen years old.”

  Ryan looks slightly confused. “Oh, really?” Nor does he seem all that interested in the conversation either. Which he proves by turning back towards Liam before picking up the threads of his previous conversation.

  Ignoring Ryan, my sister-in-law continues. “Yup, even then she wanted to be a teacher.”

  “Sounds like you’ve always known what you wanted out of life. Not many people realize that at such a young age.”

  I shrug, not really wanting to be drawn into some kind of earnest conversation with him. I have no desire whatsoever to get to know JT better or see him in a different light.

  “When she was a sophomore in high school, she would get a ride to the elementary school where I worked after she was done with classes for the day and she’d help with the kids in my classroom. They loved her. Claire has always had a great deal of patience with children. She’s a natural teacher. And she’s worked so hard to get into college and the elementary education program. You might think that it’s easy, but it’s not. There are always so many people applying, that it’s actually quite competitive. Not everyone makes it.”

  Oh my god. I just want to bury my face in my hands at this point. Gia is practically gushing. I have no idea why she’s telling JT all of this. Does she actually think the guy cares about anyone other than himself?

  Ha!

  He doesn’t.

  At this point, I’m hoping Charlotte will cause some kind of ruckus so Gia will have to go back to focusing all her attention on the three-year-old. Who, darn her, seems to be managing quite well on her own.

  “What grade will you be teaching?”

  “Student teaching,” I quickly correct before softening my tone. “First grade. I want to work in lower elementary. I wouldn’t mind teaching kindergarten. Once I have a few years under my belt, I’m going to apply for a master’s program in reading intervention. I’d like to become a reading specialist down the road.”

  That’s the plan anyway. We’ll see how it goes.

  He nods. I hate to even acknowledge that JT is a lot more focused on what I’m saying than Ryan. Who, by the way, is still talking about playing college ball. I’m starting to feel exasperated here. “You must be pretty excited to be getting into the classroom.”

  Feeling suddenly self-conscious to have all of his attention directed my way, I glance down at my plate hoping that we can finally drop the subject and go back to simply ignoring one another.

  “Come on, Claire, you’ve been looking forward to this since you moved to Green Bay.”

  Of course I have. I absolutely adored being in the classroom when I worked with Gia sophomore year in high school, and then I was able to help out during my senior year as a teaching assistant. That was another great experience.

  But still… there’s no reason we have to discuss all that with JT, is there? I’m guessing by the amused look on his face, that he knows exactly what thoughts are running rampant through my head right now.

  Unbending just a bit, I finally admit, �
��Yes, I’m really looking forward to getting back into the classroom. After I get acclimated, I’ll be able to start coming up with my own lesson plans.”

  He nods. “How many classes are you taking this semester?”

  “Three. It’ll be a light semester for me.”

  His eyes never once relinquishing their hold on mine. I get the feeling that he sees way more than what’s on the surface. Like I said before, I’m not sure how much I like this new JT. There’s a whole different level of intensity about him now. One that I find completely unnerving. And I’m not sure what to do with all the feelings he keeps rousing within me. Especially considering that my boyfriend just so happens to be sitting next to me the entire time it’s happening.

  “Sounds like it’ll be an easy semester.”

  “For the most part.” Even though I agree, I know it’s not going to be a cakewalk. One of the classes I’m taking is a statistics course, and I’ve heard that the professor can be a real stickler. Since it’s a requirement for graduation, he’s not afraid to flunk people.

  “Aren’t you taking stats this semester?”

  I flash Gia a small smile. We’re still very close. She’s like a sister to me. I tell her everything. Well, almost everything. I haven’t mentioned just how much JT bothers me. “Yep.”

  She makes a face before adding, “I always hated stats.”

  A little sigh escapes from between my lips. “I’m not looking forward to it either.” Math has always been a real struggle. Sometimes I have a hard time wrapping my head around the equations and breaking them down into understandable terms. I’m certainly no stranger to the math tutor lab on campus.

  They know me by name there.

  “Well, if you ever need help, all you have to do is ask.”

  I can only imagine the look on my face because almost immediately the edges of his lips bow upwards into a smile. “I actually aced stats. I like math. It’s something I’ve always been good at.”

  Before I can think better of it, the words are flying out of my mouth. “And here I’d thought you would have been much too busy partying to actually attend classes in college.”

  “Claire!”

  Looking amused rather than offended by my rude comment, JT simply grins. “Nope. Made it to all my classes and was still able to find the time to party.” He winks. “I’ve always had excellent time management skills as well.”

  I wince at Gia’s chiding tone.

  She’s right. I shouldn’t have voiced that comment out loud.

  And normally, I wouldn’t have either. It’s not who I am. All I can say is that this is the first real conversation that JT and I have had that hasn’t revolved around him hitting on me. Maybe I’m uncomfortable having an honest to god discussion with him.

  I don’t know.

  I just know that I’m feeling…

  Crap… I don’t even know what I’m feeling. A little bit confused maybe. I don’t like all these feelings I’ve been having lately where he’s concerned. And this conversation… It’s a little too…

  Pleasant.

  There.

  I said it.

  For just a moment we were actually having a friendly conversation. Maybe it’s the way he’s been focused so intently upon me… it’s unnerving. And yet the guy who should be paying attention is still ignoring me, talking to my brother about the season and the team’s prospects.

  I don’t know… maybe I just wanted to ruin whatever this is that’s happening between us. Even though I don’t particularly want to apologize, I know it’s the right thing to do.

  “Sorry,” I say somewhat begrudgingly, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

  I absolutely meant it that way.

  And by the amused look lighting up his eyes, he knows it as well.

  Come on, it’s not like we all haven’t heard about how much partying and trouble JT caused at the university he played ball at. I think I even remember hearing that he was almost kicked out at one point. By the time he was drafted to Green Bay, his bad-boy reputation preceded him. And the last three years have only solidified it. I have zero interest in getting tangled up with that.

  Continuing to hold my eyes, he leans forward, somehow managing to close the distance that separates us. Even though he’s sitting across the table from me, I still feel his nearness. It’s as if those seafoam green eyes of his have all but swallowed me whole.

  “You don’t have to be sorry. I fully admit to partying. I had a good time in college and yet I still managed to do well in my classes. Especially statistics. So if you ever need help, the offer still stands.” His gaze continues burning into mine. Looking away feels impossible. “I’m more than willing to give you some one-on-one attention.”

  His words have my eyes flaring wide because I get the feeling that he’s not just talking about stats anymore. For all I know, he hasn’t been talking about statistics at all.

  It’s stiffly that the words leave my mouth. “Thanks, but I’m sure the professor can help if I have any questions.”

  He shrugs. “Up to you.”

  The way his eyes continue piercing mine, the soft cadence of his voice, it all sends a delicate shiver racing across my spine.

  Naturally, Ryan takes that moment to finally break free from his conversation with Liam to say, “Babe, if JT wants to give you a little personal tutoring, you should take him up on that offer.”

  JT’s smile only grows in response.

  All of a sudden it feels as if everyone here is conspiring against me.

  Chapter Six

  Claire

  “Just call if you need anything, okay?”

  Anxiety threads its way through Gia’s normally mellow voice as she presses one last kiss against Max’s chubby little cheek before sweeping a loving hand over his downy head. “We’ll both have our cell phones on the entire time, so don’t worry about interrupting anything. And we’re sticking close to home. We’ll be no more than twenty minutes away. And we can always cut the evening short if we have to. It’s not a big deal.”

  My brother, who is standing behind his wife, meets my eyes before slowly shaking his head and mouthing, “Do not call.”

  Reining in a gurgle of laughter, I simply smirk before shifting my gaze back to Gia. She’s floating around the foyer like a high-strung butterfly. I kind of feel bad for her. This is the first time since Max was born that Liam has been able to get her out of the house for a date night. And the only way he managed to do that was by planning the entire evening himself. He surprised her with reservations at her favorite restaurant and a night out on the town. Something she couldn’t say no to.

  They haven’t even left the house yet, and already she looks stressed out. I think Gia would grasp onto any flimsy excuse to cancel their plans and just stay home. It’s not very often that she leaves Max with anyone and when she does, it’s only with Liam. Or me.

  And it’s more like thirty minutes.

  An hour at the very most.

  “I just pumped, so there’s fresh milk in the fridge if Max gets hungry. Although he shouldn’t need to eat for another two hours. I’m hoping that he’ll just sleep for you the entire time we’re gone. I tried keeping him up this afternoon.”

  Not only is Gia starting to ramble with her nervousness, but she’s also wringing her hands. Already Max is fast asleep in my arms. He’ll probably be sacked out until his next feeding, so watching the kids this evening should be fairly easy. I’m not anticipating any major problems. I’ve been helping out with them since Ty was born.

  I’m an old pro at this.

  Gia has absolutely nothing to worry about.

  Wanting to put her at ease, I smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll call if I have any problems or questions.”

  Her blue eyes finally lift to mine, and I see the deep concern etched within them. Although I can hardly take offense. I know she trusts me. Just as I know that this is difficult for her. In one of my child development classes, we talked about separation anxiety. Seems like it go
es both ways.

  For parents as well as kids.

  “I’m going to take good care of them, Gia.” I show her Max. “See? He’s already sleeping. I’m going to lay him down, and then I’ll play some games with Ty and Charlotte. We’ll eat dinner, watch a show or two, and then it’ll be off to bed. Everything will be fine.”

  At this very moment, Charlotte and Ty are running around with their superhero stuff. Naturally, Charlotte has her own Wonder Woman paraphernalia. They don’t even seem to realize that their parents are on the verge of walking out the door. Those two are way more interested in whacking each other with foam swords to care about anything else.

  After another five minutes, Liam finally wraps his arms around his wife before steering her gently towards the front door. “Come on, sweetie, our reservations are in thirty minutes.”

  Worrying her lower lip, she asks one more time, “You’re sure you’ll be alright?”

  “I’ll be fine. And I’ll call or text if there are any problems. No worries. Really.”

  Nodding again, Gia grabs her purse off the credenza in the front hall. It takes another five minutes for Liam to actually hustle her out the door. Once their truck is rolling down the long drive, I drag in a great big breath before smiling down at Max who is still sleeping soundly in my arms.

  I should probably lay him down in his crib so that the kids don’t wake him. Ty and Charlotte are laughing and shouting as they run around the first floor. I’m hoping they’ll tire themselves out so that they go down a little easier.

  Even though Max is completely sacked out, I whisper, “We’re going to have a good time tonight, aren’t we little man?” I can’t resist giving him a gentle kiss on the forehead. Just as I do, I hear a thwack and then loud noisy tears. Ty comes running into the foyer holding his head. He searches the front entryway with watery eyes.

  “Where’s Mama?”

  It’s quietly that I say, “Mama and Daddy just left for dinner. Remember? They won’t be gone long.”

  As soon as he realizes that his parents are gone, he starts crying even harder. Just by the sound of his voice, I can tell that he’s getting himself all wound up.