If You Were Mine Read online

  He grins before snatching the bottle out of my hand and practically ripping off the plastic cap.

  “Thanks,” I laugh, “you better tone that down a bit. You might end up hurting someone.”

  Ty flexes his arms before grunting like some of the dudes do when they’re bench pressing a ton of weight. Everyone laughs. The kid has personality in spades, that’s for sure. When he starts to squirm, I let him down and he shoots out of the room like his ass is on fire.

  Gia watches him go with a speculative gleam in her eyes before walking towards me. “He hasn’t been that still all day. Kindergarten will hopefully be good for him.” When she’s close enough, she reaches up on her tiptoes before pressing a small kiss to my cheek. I grin at Liam before wiggling my brows.

  Sometimes I like to poke the bear.

  Instead of getting all fired up, he just rolls his eyes at me.

  Those two are almost disgustingly in love. There’s nothing Liam wouldn’t do for Gia or his kids. Or his sister, for that matter. Family is everything to these people.

  I’m not jealous, but sometimes I think it might be nice to have a family to come home to at the end of the day. People of my own. People who actually care about what happens to me. All this chaos and activity bursting at the seams is a far cry from my own quiet home.

  Just like Liam’s house, mine is five thousand square feet. With the finished basement, it’s somewhere in the vicinity of seventy-five hundred. When I’m there alone, which is all the damn time, especially since I’m no longer going out and filling time with women, parties, and hanger-on’s, it’s so quiet that I can actually hear myself think.

  I’m not sure what compelled me to purchase the place, but it’s a nice retreat. Even if Green Bay ends up trading me at the end of the season, I wanted something more than the apartment I had been renting downtown. I’d needed to get away from the clubs and bars that were a stone’s throw from my front door.

  Thinking about a family of my own has my eyes once again arrowing to Claire. And just like always, she studiously avoids my gaze. Sometimes I get the feeling that she’s trying to look anywhere but at me.

  Jackwad is at her side.

  Before I can even greet her, he’s stepping forward, thrusting his hand in my direction. Eyes looking like they just might pop out of his head.

  Fucking cleat licker.

  Why is she even with this tool?

  “Hey, man. Nice to see you again. I’m Ryan, Claire’s boyfriend.”

  In that moment, I’m hoping Liam is right about this guy, and he won’t be around for long. There’s just something about him that rubs me the wrong way. Although the fact that he’s with Claire and more than likely trying to get in her pants is probably what’s doing it.

  For the next thirty minutes, Jackwad proceeds to yap my damn ear off. Hitting me up with all sorts of invasive questions. Regaling me with story after story of his glory days playing ball at Green Bay.

  Seriously, dude?

  Mentally I’ve shaken my head so many times that I’ve actually lost count.

  Once he starts bringing up some of my more noteworthy brawls along with some actress I was apparently dating last year, is precisely when I decide that I’ve had my fill of this guy before excusing myself to use the john. There’s not much that drives me to drink now-a-days, but a minute more in his company just might do the trick. I’m seriously contemplating the merits of finding Ty and hanging out in his room playing with his superhero collection until dinner is ready.

  I’d been less than impressed with how he spent all his time at the barbecue talking with some of my teammates, and I’m even less impressed having just spent the last thirty minutes of my life with him.

  Which is, by the way, thirty minutes I will never get back again.

  So, yeah… thanks for that, buddy.

  The entire time he was pelting me with questions, Claire was in the kitchen with Gia, helping her get dinner together. I would catch little glimpses of her every now and then from where I strategically placed myself. Liam was playing with the two older kids and keeping an eye on the baby.

  So that, unfortunately, left me and Claire’s boyfriend to fend for ourselves.

  I huff out a relieved breath as I step into the long cheerfully painted hallway that is decorated with pictures showcasing the Garrison clan. Since I’m in no rush, I take my time, looking at each one. Anything to burn time. I find a few of Claire taken years ago and can’t help but study them. She looks exactly the same. Long dark shining hair, slender build, smile curving her lips upwards, wide gray eyes staring straight into the camera.

  Although granted, I don’t get to see that smile very often. Only when she’s talking with someone else.

  The bathroom is located at the far end of the hallway. The further I get from Claire’s boyfriend, the looser everything within me becomes. Not that I necessarily have to take a leak, but my plan is to hide out in there until I’m able to come up with a better one.

  I’m just making a grab for the door handle when it swings open. I’m not sure who’s more startled- Claire or me. Although I’m willing to bet that it’s Claire. She stifles a small yelp before jumping almost a foot. Without thinking, my hands go right to her slender shoulders in an effort to steady her. Even when she comes to a complete standstill, I don’t let go.

  In the three years that I’ve known Claire, I have never once laid my hands on her body. Some irrational part within me actually feels irate that the guy she’s chosen to date gets to do it any damn time he pleases.

  If I were Liam, I would definitely be putting the kibosh on that.

  Once the surprise wears off, her face morphs into the cool mask of indifference she usually wears in my presence. Needless to say, I’ve seen that look at least three dozen times. In fact, now that I think about it, I have some very fond memories of that stony expression aimed in my direction.

  When it becomes obvious that I’m not going to be releasing her anytime soon, she finally grits out, “You can let go of me now.”

  Why I find her irritation amusing, I have no idea. But I do. Which is precisely why one side of my mouth hitches at the starchiness weaving its way through her voice. “Just trying to be a gentleman and make sure you don’t fall.” That may not be altogether true, but it’s close enough.

  She snorts with about as much derision as she can muster which is actually quite a bit.

  “Yes, you’re always the perfect gentleman.” Her gray eyes flash with mockery. “Now let go of me.”

  I give her shoulders a gentle squeeze, my thumbs gliding over the silky soft skin left bare from the tank top she’s wearing. Her eyes flare wide at the leisurely caress. Unfortunately, there’s no longer a reason for me to keep touching her. So, even though it’s the last thing I want to do, I reluctantly relinquish my hold.

  But I don’t want her leaving just yet. The woman will barely give me the time of day. This is the most conversing we’ve done in months. So, just as she’s getting ready to walk around me, I hear the words shooting out of my mouth before I can stop them.

  “Is that guy really your boyfriend?”

  Just as I knew she would, she halts in her tracks. Her eyes swing back to mine. “Excuse me?”

  I’m tempted to call him Jackwad, but I know that will only piss her off more. And I’ll freely admit that I enjoy seeing the way her eyes spark and flare when she gets angry, but I’m honestly not trying to rile her up.

  It just so happens to be a natural byproduct of my company.

  I tip my head towards the living room where I assume he’s still sitting, patiently awaiting my return. “Are you seriously dating him?”

  Looking annoyed, she crosses her arms in front of her chest before narrowing those icy gray pools at me. I probably shouldn’t mention just how much that turns me on.

  But, yeah… it does.

  I’m going to be completely honest here, there isn’t much about Claire Garrison that doesn’t turn my crank. Apparently, that’s just a
natural byproduct of her company.

  “Yeah, I am. Why are you asking?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “Because he seems way more interested in the people you know rather than you.”

  Is that an asshole thing to say?

  Probably.

  Unfortunately, it’s the truth. And I don’t want to see her get hurt by some dude who’s just out to use her. It happens all the time when you’re someone famous. Or related to someone famous. People want to get close, and they’ll use whoever they have to in order to do it. “Every time I see him, he’s talking with everyone but you.”

  She rears back as if I’ve slapped her. I didn’t think it was possible for her tone to become any frostier, but it does. “That’s not true at all.”

  I raise a brow in askance because I think we both know that it is. She just doesn’t want to admit it. And certainly not to me. Unable to stop myself, I inch closer, stepping into her personal space. It’s just enough to catch a subtle hint of the beachy scent she’s wearing. Needless to say, it goes straight to my head.

  Umm… my other head.

  “Listen, Claire, you should be with someone who likes you for you. Who doesn’t give a damn about who you’re related to or the people you’re friends with. You should be the most important person in the room. No one else.” When I’m around her, she’s the only one I’m conscious of.

  I can’t imagine any other guy feeling differently. I really can’t.

  Hands going to her slim hips, her dark brows lower even more. “Not that it’s any of your business, but he does like me. He just so happens to be a huge football fan. Last time I checked, that wasn’t a crime and honestly,” she shakes her head, her eyes heating up even more, “it’s really none of your business who I go out with.”

  She’s right.

  It isn’t.

  But a minute detail such as that isn’t going to stop me.

  “I’ve seen this guy twice now, and both times, he’s been more interested in talking to your brother’s teammates than spending any real time with you. That’s not how I would treat a girlfriend.”

  Scoffing, she rolls those big gray eyes of hers. “Like you’ve ever had a girlfriend. I don’t think so.”

  Well, she’s got me there.

  I’ve been linked to a ton of women, but most of it has been long-distance relationships that had the lifespan of a gnat. And they only lasted that long because we weren’t in the same city… hell, most of the time we weren’t even in the same state or time zone.

  When I say nothing in response, she actually advances on me before ramming a finger into my chest. “Exactly! So don’t you even try doling out relationship advice when you’ve never been in one! You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  With her sudden nearness, I find myself unable to resist laying my hands on her upper arms before hauling her lithe body towards mine. I must be having some kind of psychotic break because there is no way this is going to end well for me.

  Looking surprised, Claire’s eyes flare impossibly wide until all I see are the different flecks of gray that make up her irises. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit how her closeness has the blood thrumming almost violently through my veins. Her delicate scent surrounds me, cocooning me in familiarity. I just want to suck in a great big breath of her. Or maybe snort her like a line of coke although I can’t imagine that going over well.

  “What I know is this,” my eyes continue piercing hers, refusing to relinquish them even for a moment, “if you were mine, there’s not one damn person who could pull my attention away from you.” Hell, she’s not even mine, and I have a hard time pulling my attention away from her. She eclipses everything and everyone. She always has.

  Time suddenly stumbles to a halt. I can practically feel her thundering heartbeat as we continue staring at one another. Her eyes fall to my lips, and it takes everything I have inside not to simply throw her over my shoulder and leave the house with her in tow like some kind of caveman. I just want to get her away from Jackwad before he touches her in all the ways I’ve fantasized about doing.

  I have no idea just how long we stand there staring at one another before she finally whispers, “I’m not yours, JT.” Her voice is so low that it sounds as if it’s been roughed up with sandpaper. But it continues gaining strength as she adds, “I will never be yours.”

  With those words, she wrenches out of my arms before inhaling a shaky breath and tearing down the hallway. She doesn’t bother glancing back before finally turning the corner.

  Even after she disappears, I stand there with my fists clenched impotently at my sides because there’s absolutely nothing I can do. I have no idea what it is about Claire that tugs at something deep within me. I really don’t. Over the years, I’ve tried my damnedest to figure it out. Or, more accurately, snuff it out. Because there’s nothing worse than pining for someone who doesn’t want anything to do with you.

  But I can’t.

  And in all honesty, I don’t think I want to.

  Chapter Five

  Claire

  For the first time ever, dinner with my family feels like torture.

  And it’s all his fault.

  I’m to the point of wanting to scream in aggravation because those green eyes of his always seem to be directed my way. I can practically feel them crawling over my person. Watching every single rise and fall of my chest. I have never, not in my entire life, been so completely aware of another human being as I am of JT Higgins.

  And it’s driving me freaking nuts.

  What is it about him?

  Why is he able to pull such a reaction from me? I should just be able to ignore him like I’ve done for the past three years, but that feels impossible now.

  At least before- and when I say before, I mean when he had been drinking, ho-ing around, and getting into fights every other weekend, he wasn’t bothering me. Yes, when we saw each other, he would proposition me, but it was ridiculously easy to brush him off. There were so many other distractions that he wasn’t ever one hundred percent focused on me. He was like an unconscious person fading in and out.

  That no longer seems to be the case anymore.

  Actually, it hasn’t been that way for the last six months.

  Now when we’re in the same vicinity, I feel his gaze on me constantly. Which leaves me feeling like a nervous, fidgety mess. It leaves my insides tied up in intricate little knots.

  No matter how many times I brush him off, he never fails to try striking up a conversation between us. It’s maddening. I liked it better when he was drunk, and I could simply sidestep his attention and advances.

  With Ryan sitting next to me, JT has positioned himself directly across the table from me. Gia and Liam are on the ends. They each have a child by them, and Max is down for a nap. I wish JT hadn’t touched me earlier in the hallway. Right now his fingers feel all but singed onto my skin as a reminder. It’s as if I can still feel the imprint of those wide hands on my shoulders and arms. And the way he grabbed me, hauling me towards him. Rather surprisingly his fingers hadn’t been rough or punishing.

  For just a moment, I’d been frightened that he was actually going to kiss me.

  Or maybe I’d been afraid that he wouldn’t.

  I don’t ever remember wanting to be kissed more by a man.

  My fork stalls on its way to my mouth as that thought resonates throughout my brain.

  Oh my god. How can I want that? No. I don’t want JT kissing me.

  The guy is a total ass.

  And yet…

  And yet…

  I can’t deny the spark of energy that ignited when I was staring into those beautiful green eyes of his. Or when he pulled me close to his big, powerful body. A little shiver of need snakes its way down my spine as I unconsciously lift my eyes to his in confusion.

  I don’t understand how I can want him touching me when I can barely stand to be in the same room with him. It doesn’t make sense. Not to mention that I’m going out with Ryan.
He’s my boyfriend. If there’s anyone I should be feeling little zings of attraction for, it’s him.

  Right?

  As soon as our eyes collide, JT’s spear right through mine. Almost as if he had been sitting there biding his time, waiting for me to finally glance his way. The breath becomes wedged in my throat as our gazes continue to lock and hold.

  Over the last couple of months, his watchfulness has grown. It’s like a physical caress I can all but feel skating over me. Although it’s never been quite so… blatant before. He’s usually more careful about it. Especially around Liam and Gia. But Ryan is talking to Liam, who is preoccupied with trying to get Ty to eat his dinner. And Gia is focused on Charlotte, who is making a huge mess of things.

  Which leaves just the two of us.

  All of a sudden my skin feels hot, and I can’t help but fidget uncomfortably under his intense scrutiny. And that’s exactly what it feels like, too. Not sure what to do with myself, I continue pushing food around on my plate. Even though I was all but starving when Ryan and I arrived earlier this evening, I’ve completely lost my appetite.

  The only defense I have against him is to yank my eyes away and keep them pinned to the plate in front of me. I just want to get out of here. I need to get away from him and the strange feelings he’s starting to rouse within me. I don’t understand them. Nor am I sure that I want to either.

  They feel dangerous.

  A Pandora’s Box I shouldn’t be opening.

  Quite frankly, I hate that he’s ruining something I spend all week looking forward to. I love spending time with my family, and now I don’t even want to be here. I just wish I could ignore him. I want everything to go back to the way it used to be between us. I don’t really care for this new JT. And I definitely hate just how physically aware of him I now am.

  “So when do you start student teaching?”

  Unable to help myself, my eyes lift to his. Even though no one seems to be paying us any particular attention, I can’t just sit here and not answer him. I think he realizes that as well. If we were alone, he would barely get a one-word answer from me in response. Now I’m being forced to converse politely with him from across the dinner table.