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  But everything I’d once thought has now changed, morphed into something entirely new, completely different. Luke somehow feels like the opposite end of a magnet I now find myself attracted to.

  As much as I don’t want to feel this, I’m not sure how to stop it.

  Leaning towards me, his eyes hold mine. “I feel like we’re meant to be in each other’s lives.” Shaking his head, he runs his fingers through his hair as if he’s agitated by his own words. “Christ,” he whispers, “that makes me sound like a stalker.”

  Yeah… it kind of does. And under normal circumstances, I would already be walking- make that running towards the nearest exit. Because everything he’s saying sounds way too intense.

  Inhaling a deep breath, I blow it out slowly as I carefully consider his words. “No,” I finally say before admitting, “I feel it too.” How is it possible for something to feel both right and wrong? My heart constricts almost painfully as I think about Cole.

  Not saying anything more, I suddenly shoot to my feet. I need some time and space to think about everything that has happened with Luke because I’m not sure just how to define this new relationship between us.

  With wide eyes, Luke gets to his feet as well. He looks as tense as I feel. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of that. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

  Glancing away, I murmur softly, “I’m not sure what you want from me and that makes me nervous.” I’m trying to be honest with him. Whatever is unfolding between us, it needs to be straightforward. No ambiguity. He needs to understand that we will never be anything more than friends.

  He takes a hesitant step towards me. Instead of retreating, I stand my ground. Perhaps I shouldn’t, but I do. When I don’t move a single muscle, he takes another tentative step until we’re so close that he could easily reach out and take me in his arms. He could lower his mouth and kiss me, but he doesn’t.

  The most damning part is that I’m not sure if I’m relieved or not.

  “I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me, Cassidy. And maybe, for now, that’s just friendship. Maybe later on, it’ll be something else entirely. I just know that I want to be part of your life.”

  “I love Cole,” I whisper softly. Because the words need to be said. I can’t have him thinking that I’m going to break up with Cole for him.

  His eyes darken with that knowledge. “I know.” And then his hands are sliding gently across my cheeks before he’s tipping my face up towards his. “I can be your friend. If that’s what you want, if that’s what you need. Then that’s all we’ll be.”

  A thick lump forms in the middle of my throat as his quiet words wash over me. I’m not quite sure what to do with them. Their meaning feels immense. “But you want more,” I press.

  He hesitates for a long moment before finally admitting, “Yes… I want more.”

  If we’re really going to be friends, he needs to understand that we will never be anything more than that. “I can only offer you friendship.”

  “Then I’ll be content with your friendship.” His eyes cradle mine almost tenderly and I can’t deny that a small part of me suddenly yearns for more. That thought has a rush of guilt sweeping through me because it feels as if I’m betraying Cole.

  “I really do love him.”

  Cole is everything I never thought I could have, never dared to dream for, and I won’t throw that away. Even if a tiny part within me feels as if Luke and I have somehow, over the course of an hour, forged a strong unbreakable bond between us. It doesn’t make the least bit of sense but somehow, it makes perfect sense.

  He smiles just a bit before pressing a soft kiss against my forehead. “Then he’s a lucky guy.”

  “Thank you.” As we stand, almost embracing, my heart twists painfully under my breast. “I have to go.” Everything I’m feeling right now is just too tangled up. I need to put some distance, both emotionally and physically, between us.

  Slowly his hands slip from my face before he takes a step back. As he does, I suck in a deep breath trying to clear my jumbled thoughts. Even though I’m still confused about my feelings, I know that I’m making the right decision. I love Cole.

  Gathering up my bag, I’m about to say goodbye when a blur of movement catches my attention. As I turn, my gaze collides with Cole’s. His heated eyes hold mine for a long intense moment before slicing to Luke who is still standing next to me.

  Without a word, he simply turns before striding away.

  “Cole, wait!” My heart clenches as his name rings loudly throughout the crowded Union. But he doesn’t acknowledge my words. He doesn’t acknowledge me. And I realize as my gut twists into a painful little knot that he isn’t going to.

  Chapter Three

  With my heart lodged somewhere in my throat, I finally catch up with Cole outside the Union. He’s already made it down the cement stairs and pathway. Even though I’m yelling his name, begging him to stop, he doesn’t. Even when my fingers drill into the flesh of his arm, he keeps trying to stride away from me. I’ve never seen him this angry before. Cole is always calm and in control of his feelings.

  But that’s not the case right now.

  What I hate most is the hurt I saw swimming around in his beautiful whiskey colored eyes.

  I don’t want to lose him because of a momentary lapse in judgement. Because of my confusion over the situation. I don’t necessarily think Luke and I have done anything wrong. Or… maybe we have. Maybe meeting with Luke and letting him hold my hand and run his fingers across my cheek was damning enough.

  “Cole,” I plead desperately, “please stop and talk to me!” But he doesn’t want to listen. Even though I’m tugging on his arm, he doesn’t stop trying to walk away from me.

  For a moment, it feels as if he’s slipping right through my fingers. I never should have let Luke touch me. It was wrong. “It’s not what it looked like!”

  Those five little words have him careening towards me so quickly that I slam right into his wide chest. His fingers bite into my shoulders before steadying me. As his eyes collide with mine, I see the anger, the uncertainty simmering within their golden depths. It kills me that I’m the one who put all that emotion there.

  “And what exactly do you think it looked like?” Even though his eyes flash, his voice remains strangely calm.

  Gulping nervously, I slowly force the words out. “I’m sure it looked like something was going on between us.” And in all honesty, maybe it had been. Maybe we crossed a line. I… I don’t know. I just know I can’t lose Cole.

  “It looked like he wanted to kiss you, Cassidy.” Inhaling a deep breath, his eyes scrutinize mine before he says with even greater calm, “And it looked like you wanted him to.”

  Had I wanted that?

  Had I?

  Biting down on my lip, I remember the feelings of confusion that had spiraled through me. Slowly I shake my head. I… didn’t. Not really. I want Cole. I told Luke that. I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings between us. But I also know that I have to be honest with Cole about what took place between Luke and me. “We were talking about…” My gaze slides away before I say softly, “What happened last year.”

  For some reason I thought my explanation would smooth things over. Explain why the intensity of our emotions had been running so high. Instead he just stands there staring at me in confusion. It takes a moment or two for me to realize that I’ve made a tactical error but it’s too late to backtrack now.

  “You don’t even know him, Cassidy.” His brows draw together before he says with disbelief, sounding almost hurt, “You really shared all that with him?”

  A hot sting of tears pricks the back of my eyes. But I can’t lie. Not to Cole. Not anymore. I shrug my shoulders helplessly, silently wishing he could understand that there’s something between Luke and me. It’s not romantic or sexual… but there’s still something.

  “He was there, Cole.” I whisper pleadingly, “He was the one who got me out. I… I honestl
y can’t think about what would have happened if he hadn’t found me when he did.” I shake my head because it’s difficult to let my mind go there. To that place. And Cole should understand that.

  As those words fall from my lips, he suddenly pulls me to him before wrapping his arms tightly around me. “I know, I know.” His voice is so thick, so full of unspent emotion. Pressing his lips against the crown of my head, he kisses me. “And I’m thankful that he was. You know I am.”

  Releasing a deep breath, I nod against the solid wall of his chest. I don’t want to lose him. But I need him to understand. “It felt good to talk to him. Even though we don’t really know each other, I feel connected to him. It’s not something that makes sense.” I’m almost afraid to say the rest, but I force the words out anyway, “And that feeling isn’t going to go away.”

  His body stills and for a long moment, he doesn’t say a word. I’m almost afraid that he’ll just let me go. Leave me to stand outside the Union all by myself, but he doesn’t. “What does that mean… what does that mean for us?”

  “It just means that Luke and I are friends now. We’re in each other’s lives.” I whisper the words again because I can’t stop thinking them. “He saved me.” Another thick shudder passes through my body because I hate thinking about what would have happened if Luke hadn’t barged into that bedroom. Hadn’t fought all three of those guys and gotten me out of there. “He saved me from those guys. I owe him my friendship.”

  I feel him suck in a deep breath before slowly blowing it out. His words are just a shade harder now. “You don’t owe him anything, Cassidy.” His whole body tenses. “Did he make you feel that way?”

  Not understanding his words, I pull away so that I’m able to search his beautiful golden eyes. “No, of course not. It wasn’t like that at all.” I bite my lip, needing to think carefully about what I say next. I need Cole to understand that he has nothing to worry about. But I’m not exactly sure how to do that. “I want us to be friends. I know he feels…”

  “He feels what?” Cole’s words are strangely flat now. His eyes suddenly more guarded than I’ve ever seen them before. And I hate that. Hate that this has suddenly wedged its way between us. “Because I saw the way he was looking at you, Cassidy. He wants more than just friendship.” He tilts his head to the side as his eyes continue searching mine. “You know that, don’t you?”

  My gaze skitters away from his for just a heartbeat, before I force myself to meet his eyes again. I have to be honest. Because for weeks I tried keeping my past hidden from him and now that he knows, accepts me for who I am, I won’t lie to him anymore.

  I can’t.

  “I told him that I loved you and that we could only be friends.”

  His hold tightens. His fingers biting into my flesh. “Don’t you understand that he wants you?” Looking frustrated and pissed off again, Cole shakes his head, his very expression telling me that I’m naïve to believe Luke will be satisfied with just my friendship.

  But that’s all I’m capable of giving Luke because my heart belongs to Cole.

  Sighing, I say, “Yes. But I’m yours,” softly I emphasize the words before whispering, “I love you. And there’s nothing he can do to change that.”

  Looking doubtful, Cole jerks his head in response before pulling me against him. Only then am I able to fully relax in his warm embrace.

  We’re okay.

  A rush of relief slides through me at that thought.

  Just as I inhale a deep breath, I catch a glimpse of Luke standing near the doors of the Union looking down at us. Our eyes catch and hold for a long heartbeat before I rip mine away. An odd prickle of unease slides through me because it feels as if I’m standing on the cusp of a decision.

  But that doesn’t make any sense because I’ve made my choice and I choose Cole. Luke is a friend and nothing more. I think as Luke and I settle into our friendship, he’ll come to understand that. He’ll accept that I’m with Cole and that we will never be anything more.

  Chapter Four

  “She’s ready to see you, Cassidy.”

  I smile at Wendy, Dr. Thompson’s receptionist, as I pass by her desk. I’ve been coming here since the third week of August when I arrived on campus. After my life imploded last December, my parents decided that it would be best for everyone involved if I lived with my grandparents. They didn’t want my bad influence rubbing off on my two younger sisters, Lexie and Miranda. I had been so depressed and riddled with anxiety that my grandmother had found a therapist for me to work with.

  Settling into my usual spot, I smile at Dr. Thompson as she does the same. Even though I’ve only been coming here for about two and a half months, I feel really close to her. She’s a great therapist and I doubt I would have made such a smooth transition to Western this fall without her support.

  “Cassidy,” she seems genuinely happy to see me, “You’re looking well. It’s been a little more than a week since I last saw you. How is everything going?”

  “It’s going really well.” With that I launch into what we had been discussing the last time I was in her office. “I took your advice and spoke with two of my professors about changing a few of my courses for next semester and they gave me some great suggestions. I’m probably going to drop my history course for a sociology class instead. I’ve also made an appointment to speak with my academic advisor about some of the majors I’m interested in exploring.”

  She nods approvingly. “That sounds great. It seems like you’ve got everything under control. That must feel good.”

  “It feels great, actually.” I can’t help but smile.

  “I’m sure the sociology class will help with your decision to pursue a career in psychology,” she adds. We had previously discussed majors since I’m currently undecided. I’ve narrowed it down to psychology and education since math and science are two of my stronger subjects.

  “Exactly. Professor Mullens also thought there might even be a few opportunities for me to assist her grad students with some experiments next semester.”

  She looks genuinely impressed. “What a wonderful, not to mention valuable, experience.”

  “Yeah,” I agree, “I’m really excited about it. I would love the opportunity to help out with or even participate in something like that.”

  “That all sounds great and if nothing else, you’re going to get a better feel for that area of study.”

  I beam. “That’s what I was thinking.”

  “And classes are still going well? Are you feeling overwhelmed now that we’re about two and a half months in?”

  Mentally I go through each class and all the assignments that are coming due before shaking my head. “No, everything is going smoothly right now. There’s a lot of reading but I’m staying on top of it by doing a little each day and that keeps everything manageable. I still have A’s in all my classes.”

  “Tackling little chucks at a time is a smart way of staying on top of your classes.” She takes a few quick notes. “Tell me how you’ve been doing otherwise. Any anxiety since I last saw you?”

  I shake my head because now that I don’t have to worry about Luke sabotaging me here at Western, I actually feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me. Finally sitting down and discussing the past with him yesterday made me realize that he probably just needed some closure. And although I’m glad that we were able to do that, it feels like this new relationship with Luke is going to cause problems with Cole.

  “Have any other issues popped up?”

  “No,” the whole Cole-Luke thing flits through my head, “not really.”

  “Not really?” Her brows arch in question as she picks up on my slight hesitation. Have I mentioned that Dr. Thompson is really good at what she does?

  “Well,” nibbling on my lower lip, I quickly debate whether or not to tell her about Luke, “there’s someone here at Western who was at Dartmouth last year.”

  Her brows rise at that. “Is that going to be a problem for you?” She
asks the question softly because she knows exactly how much I’ve struggled with my failure and how long it’s taken me to get back on track. In actuality, I’m still working on that part. We both realize that any kind of setback could potentially send me careening back down again. And I’ve worked way too hard to allow that to happen. I’m scared to death that something like that could derail all the hard fought progress I’ve made.

  Slowly I shake my head. “No. I actually sat down with him yesterday and we ended up talking about everything that happened.” My mind is still somersaulting over that one.

  She seems surprised by my answer. “And how did that go?”

  I blow out a long slow breath as I think about my conversation with Luke. “Better than I expected it to. It made me sick to my stomach that there was someone here who could dredge up all my mistakes, could spread around all the ugly gossip.” I pause before admitting my biggest fear. “Who could destroy the new life I’ve been trying to build for myself.”

  Her brown eyes fill with both understanding and compassion. It’s one of the reasons I feel so comfortable talking with her. She listens and really hears what I’m trying to say. “Now that you’ve had a chance to sit down and face your fears, do you still think that’s going to happen?”

  “No… I don’t.” I think about Luke and the fear that had all but swamped me for the past week. “Luke is the one who rescued me from the three guys who were attacking me.”

  Dr. Thompson doesn’t ever let on when something throws her off balance. Outwardly she’s always calm, collected, and understanding. It’s almost comical when her eyebrows shoot up, practically hitting the ceiling. “I see.”

  “Yeah,” I agree with a small smile because that reaction pretty much sums it up. “He wants to be friends.”

  Regaining her unflappability, she asks rather pointedly, “Are you comfortable with that? Comfortable having a relationship with him?”

  Slowly I turn the question over in my head. Once again the answer surprises me. “Yeah, I guess I am. After we started talking, I realized that he didn’t want to hurt me. He was genuinely concerned about how I was doing. It just felt like we,” I shake my head because it sounds so ridiculous, “I guess we kind of bonded. I ended up telling him everything that had led up to that night. It actually felt really good to talk about with him because,” I gulp in a breath, “because he was there.”