If You Were Mine Read online

  She looks shocked as her dark brows all but slam into her hairline. “What? When did this happen?”

  I shrug like it’s no big deal. “About a week ago.”

  Disbelief, followed very quickly by hurt, spills its way across her face. “What? A week ago? Why am I only hearing about this now? Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

  In all honesty, it never even occurred to me that she might feel wounded that I didn’t tell her what was going on. My eyes widen as I fumble inarticulately over my words, “I, ah, I’m sorry. I guess… I guess I just didn’t want to talk about it. I wanted to put it behind me.”

  Thankfully her expression clears, shifting to one of sympathy. “Oh, I’m so sorry, kiddo. I know how much breakups can hurt. Are you doing okay with it?”

  “Yeah, I’m good,” I shrug. “We were only together for about two months. It wasn’t a big deal.” Oddly enough, that’s exactly how I feel about the situation. I haven’t thought about Ryan in days. And I certainly don’t miss him or wish we were still together.

  Honestly?

  I feel like I dodged a major bullet by getting out when I did.

  It’s slowly that she nods her head as if weighing my words for the truth. Finally, she sighs. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Are you sure that you don’t want to talk about it?” Pausing, she casts a meaningful glance my way before adding more softly, “I know Ryan was the first guy you’ve really been serious about. First loves- first boyfriends, can be especially hard to get over.”

  Well… she’s right about one thing.

  Ryan was the first guy I really allowed myself to get close to. But I don’t see getting over him posing any kind of problem. I still think he’s an asshole for giving me a piece of jewelry and then expecting something in return.

  I don’t see that opinion changing anytime soon.

  “No. It’s better this way. I don’t think he was the right guy for me.” Which he then proved by sleeping with my best friend. I almost start laughing when I think about all of this actually happening. JT was right- the guy is a major tool bucket.

  “That’s a good way to look at it, Claire. You certainly are handling this like a champ,” she marvels before setting down her knife and coming around the island to where I’m still sitting. Tugging me into her arms, she holds me against her curvy form. “You know that I love you, right?” She waits until I nod before continuing with, “And when you’re finally ready to talk, I’ll be here to listen.”

  I can’t help but hug her tightly to me. Not only is Gia like a mother to me, but a big sister as well. Gia fills a lot of roles in my life. I have memories of my actual mother, Beverly, but they’ve faded over time. And since it was just me, my dad, Liam, and our brother, Cullum- I was the only girl in the house. Gia came into our lives when I needed a woman the most, and I’ll always be thankful for that. I’ve spent the last six years pouring my heart out to her, seeking advice, and crying in her arms. She’s always been one of my biggest advocates and supporters. I know that no matter what happens in my life, Gia only wants the best for me.

  “Thank you. But really, I’m okay. I don’t think I liked Ryan as much as I thought I did.” Then I add, “Maybe I liked the idea of him more than I actually liked him.” Funny how I’m only now starting to realize that.

  Pulling back, she searches my eyes. “Well, I’m just glad you’re handling this so well. Breakups can be painful.” She gives me a little wink. “You ever need to talk over a pint of Chunky Monkey, I’m your girl.”

  That comment brings a smile to my face because we’ve shared more than one pint of Chunky Monkey over the years.

  A little more quietly, she adds, “I’m guessing that you and Ryan didn’t end up sleeping together. I think you’d be more upset about this whole situation if you had.”

  A bit of color stings my cheeks as I quickly shake my head. I know she’s right about that and it just makes me doubly glad that I took my time with him rather than allowing Ryan to push me into something I wasn’t ready for. I’m glad that I held my ground with him and didn’t give in.

  Looking satisfied, she nods her head. “I’m glad you waited. When you finally find the right person, Claire, you’ll know it. You won’t have to second-guess yourself. It’ll just feel right.”

  Which is, I realize, exactly how it feels with JT.

  God knows that it shouldn’t.

  But it does.

  “Why do I get the feeling that there might be someone else you’re involved with?”

  I’m pretty sure my face loses whatever color had been filling it before I quickly shake my head in denial. “I’m not seeing anyone right now.”

  Technically this is true.

  JT and I are certainly not seeing one another. In fact, we’re not together at all. He’s simply giving me a place to crash until I can find a new one. And, well… he’ll be the first guy I sleep with.

  Continuing to eye me, she cocks her head just a bit. “Is there someone you’re interested in?”

  Thankfully the doorbell rings interrupting our conversation. So I’m off the hook for the time being. I have the feeling that it wouldn’t have taken Gia long to sniff out the truth. Jumping off the stool, I fly towards the front entryway. Rather surprisingly, I don’t have to fight Ty for the honors.

  I’m pretty sure that JT is on the other side.

  Funny how I used to wish he would stop showing up for family dinners and now I couldn’t be more excited to see him. Plus, this will probably be the only private moment we’re able to grab until later this evening when we head back to his place.

  Separately, of course.

  Flinging open the door, I’m barely able to contain the smile that’s spreading its way across my face. I’ve really missed him today. All I can think about is throwing myself into those big strong arms of his.

  But it’s not JT that I find standing on the other side of the door.

  Sucking in a breath, my hands fly to my mouth in surprise.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  JT

  My entire body feels like it’s been hit by a Mack Truck. I worked myself over pretty good in practice just like I’ve been doing all week long. I think having Claire at the house is going to be the death of me.

  I want so badly to be buried balls-deep in her. It’s like I’m waging an internal struggle every single night when I pull her sexy body into my arms. Even though she’s told me numerous times that she’s ready to take things further, that she wants me to make love to her, I keep finding excuses to back off from taking that final step with her. She’s waited this long already, so what’s a few more days in the grand scheme of things?

  Except that I think it’s entirely possible that my dick just might explode.

  I’ve never had anyone make me so damn hard before.

  And the way she plays with me…

  The way she gazes at me so intently, petting my cock, sucking and licking it. It’s the sweetest torture I’ve ever experienced in my entire life, and that’s saying something. I haven’t exactly led a chaste life up until this point.

  There hasn’t been one damn woman who has ever affected me the way Claire does.

  Strangely enough, that doesn’t scare me.

  Maybe it should, but it doesn’t.

  For the first time in my life, I finally feel like I have some real clarity as far as my career and relationships go. I’m sure being sober probably helps with that. But I’m also willing to bet that it has a lot to do with Claire. I’ve wanted her since the first time I saw her. And now… well, now I have a shot at having her in my life.

  I think that’s the real reason I’m so set on taking this slow. There’s no way I want us sleeping together and then her waking up the next morning full of regrets. Plus, I think her getting to know me- the real me- will only smooth the way when I finally break it to her that what we have between us is the real deal.

  Once I make her mine, she’s not going anywhere.

  I may not have fully sp
elled that out for her yet, but it’s the way I feel.

  Rolling up to the guardhouse, I wave to the woman sitting behind the window before she gives me the go-ahead to enter the subdivision. Instead of stopping at home to change, I head straight over to Liam’s for dinner. After being away from Claire all day, the need to lay eyes on her pounds through me like that of a steady drumbeat. It goes without saying that I want to lay more than just eyes on her. I want to wrap my arms around that girl before crushing her against me.

  Except… I won’t exactly be able to do that at Liam and Gia’s house. We’re going to have to pretend that nothing has changed between us.

  Which sucks.

  And the more I think about it, the less I like it.

  Yeah, yeah, I know Liam is overly protective. Everyone on the damn team knows that but, sneaking around like this just doesn’t sit right with me. And I sure as hell don’t want to pretend that we’re barely on speaking terms.

  Catching sight of Liam’s house, I turn into the long, winding drive. As I pull up, I see Claire and Liam standing at the front door. My eyes widen in surprise before narrowing because there’s another man with them and he’s got his arms wrapped around her. He’s lifting her right off her sandaled feet.

  What the fuck is going on here?

  No one touches my woman.

  Possessiveness rushes through me as I cut the engine before exiting my Porsche.

  They’re so wrapped up in one another that no one even notices me until I’m standing there, clearing my throat. I’m guessing that there’s a pissed off expression on my face, because Claire’s deep gray eyes widen when she finally catches sight of me.

  Even though she quickly tries pulling away, the dude holding onto her doesn’t let go. Not even a little bit. I feel my hands ball into tightened fists. I’m moments away from throwing a punch. I haven’t hit someone in more than eight months, and here I am, losing my shit right outside Liam Garrison’s front door.

  It’s like the guy finally notices that Claire is trying her damnedest to put a little distance between them because he finally turns, meeting my stare head-on. Almost immediately his eyes narrow as if he somehow knows what I am to her and doesn’t like it one damn bit.

  It’s only when Liam claps me on the shoulder that I’m able to rip my gaze away from them. “Hey, man. This is my brother, Cullum.”

  Everything within me instantly settles as I realize that the guy holding Claire is her brother. It’s almost ridiculous just how jacked up I got there for a moment when I thought someone was trying to take her away from me.

  Claire isn’t even mine.

  Well, not technically speaking.

  Although, for all intents and purposes, the girl is mine. And everything flooding through me right now only slams home that realization.

  “Cullum, this is JT Higgins.”

  Even though his arms are still draped around Claire as if to keep her away from me, I hold out my hand. He stares at it for just a second before reluctantly shaking it.

  “Nice to meet you.”

  My guess is that he doesn’t really feel that way.

  Somehow, even though Claire’s other brother has only just arrived on the scene and we’ve never met before, I think he knows exactly what my intentions are with his sister and he doesn’t like it.

  Well, that’s too fucking bad, buddy. Get used to it because this is happening.

  Again I notice Claire subtly trying to pull away from Cullum, but he’s having none of it.

  “Oh!” Suddenly running her hand over his face, she says, “You must be the surprise Gia was talking about!”

  Now that his focus is back on his younger sister, Cullum’s expression softens before his lips tilt up into just a bit of a half-smile. I get the feeling that Cullum Garrison isn’t someone who smiles easily.

  “Yep, I’ll be in town for about a week.”

  This information has her swatting at him with her hand. “Why didn’t you say something? It’s been so long since we’ve seen you, Cullum!”

  Even though he hoists his lips a little more, it seems forced. Although no one else seems to notice this.

  Claire has told me bits and pieces about her childhood. Just little snippets really, but it’s been enough for me to piecemeal together what growing up must have been like for her. I may have had a financially secure upbringing, but my guess is that Claire and her brothers did not. I’d also take a stab and say that their mother walking out when she did and never looking back again has something to do with the dark shadows lurking in Cullum’s blue eyes.

  “Well, should we all head inside? I’m sure Gia and kids will be excited to see you.”

  The brief look Cullum spears me with says- beat it, dude, you don’t belong here.

  Yeah… that’s not happening. Wild horses couldn’t drag me away from his sister. So he’s just going to have to deal with it.

  The three of them enter the house ahead of me. Since I’m the last one in, I close the heavy mahogany front door. As I do, I hear Gia and the kids greet Cullum with shouts of joy and laughter. For some reason, it makes me think of how different my own family is. Other than Bess, no one seems particularly pleased to see my face when I show up.

  I quickly brush that thought aside as I enter the kitchen. The moment I walk in, Gia kisses me on the cheek, offering me something to drink. I tell her just like I always do that I’m more than capable of getting my own beverage before pulling a glass from the cabinet and filling it up with ice-cold water from the dispenser on the fridge.

  One- I really can get my own water. I’m not some caveman who expects a woman to wait on me hand and foot. And two- I’m kind of hoping that Cullum will notice just how comfortable I am in the Garrison kitchen.

  I may not be one of the family, but I’m treated like one.

  I’m just starting to think about migrating over to where Claire is standing when Cullum slings an arm casually around her shoulders, hauling her close. The sly look he aims in my direction says- checkmate, asshole. You didn’t think it was going to be that easy, did you?

  I tip my head just a bit in acknowledgment before taking a sip from my glass.

  Yup, I have a feeling that this is exactly how the rest of the evening is going to play out.

  An hour later, I wish I could say that I was wrong.

  But I’m not.

  Cullum monopolizes all of Claire’s attention until dinner is being served. Occasionally, she shoots me an apologetic look when no one is looking. Hey, I know she doesn’t get to spend much time with her brother, and I’m more than happy to stand in the shadows and just watch her.

  Hmmm.

  I’m thinking that might have come off sounding a little creepier than I intended it to.

  Regardless, I’ll be even happier when we can finally take off, and I can have Claire all to myself.

  Since I don’t have anything better to do, I help Gia ferry platters out to the dining room. Because I’m so finely attuned to Claire’s every move, I notice right away when she excuses herself to use the bathroom. I give her approximately two minutes before silently disappearing down the hallway to wait for her.

  As soon as she opens the door, I pounce before dragging her towards the ceramic tiled laundry room right across the hall. Before she’s even able to open her mouth, my lips are crashing down on hers. She makes this sexy little noise- kind of like a sigh- deep in her throat as if she’s missed me just as much as I’ve missed her. It only spurs me on. I’ve been aching to do this ever since I first pulled up in Liam’s driveway. And the fact that her brother has been cock blocking me the entire time is driving me fucking nuts. But when she’s in my arms like this, everything rioting within me goes eerily silent, and I can once again think clearly.

  I’m not going to lie, it’s the strangest thing.

  But that doesn’t make it any less true.

  “Missed you.” Groaning out the words, my lips trail over the soft curve of her jaw before meandering down the column of her t
hroat. I feel like I could eat her up in just one bite.

  “Missed you, too.”

  I’ve never wanted to drag a woman back to my place more than I do at this very minute. I want to throw all my good intentions out the window and take her like I’ve been dreaming about.

  But I can’t do that.

  The moment I’m stealing right now is going to have to suffice until we’re able to wrap up this family dinner and I can hustle her sweet ass back to my place.

  Attempting to distract myself from all the things I want to do to that delectable little body of hers, I ask, “How was your day, gorgeous?”

  “It was good.”

  She practically moans out the words. It only reminds me of the breathy little sounds she makes when I’m devouring her pussy. Which, by the way, I could do for hours. God, but I love those little purrs of pleasure she unconsciously makes.

  Wanting to hear more of them, I continue nibbling at her neck. “Just tell me that we can leave right after dinner.”

  “My brother is visiting. I won’t be able to leave for a while.”

  That’s not the answer I was looking for. I can’t help but growl out my displeasure. The sound rumbles up from deep within my throat. All I want to do is get her alone. That it won’t be happening anytime soon leaves me feeling frustrated.

  “We should probably get back out there before someone notices that we’ve both disappeared.”

  Damn it, I know she’s right. We stay here any longer, and her brother Cullum is bound to come sniffing around.

  Again I have to wonder why we’re doing all this sneaking around. Claire is a grown woman. She can make her own decisions regarding who she gets involved with. Whether it’s a relationship or straight up sex.

  We don’t need anyone’s permission.

  Before I have the chance to really think over the words, they’re shooting out of my mouth. “Maybe we should just tell them what’s going on.” Using my teeth, I nip at her chin. My eyes stay latched onto hers trying to gage her reaction.

  “JT…” Unfortunately, the way my name slides from between her lips says it all. She doesn’t want to go there. And for some reason, that just pisses me off.