If You Were Mine Read online

  Again… hadn’t even thought about that possibility.

  There’s no way I can be in the same apartment with either one of them. But I’m locked into our lease for the rest of the school year. Thinking out loud, I say, “Maybe I can sublet my room and find something else. But that’ll take some time. Plus, Holly would have to agree to finding another roommate.”

  Although… she can’t want me around any more than I want to be there. Rubbing my forehead, my mind continues to whirl. “I could probably stay with Liam and Gia. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.” Actually, my brother would be all too happy if I moved in for a while. “But I can’t tell them about what happened with Ryan.”

  We’re both quiet for a moment before JT clears his throat. “You could always stay here until you find something else.”

  And just like that, a strange silence settles over us.

  I’m not sure what to say to that.

  I’m not even sure if he’s serious about the offer. Except that his face is perfectly sober. And he’s watching me as if he’s waiting for an answer. It suddenly occurs to me that he’s not simply throwing out some half-hearted, token invitation.

  His offer is genuine.

  “I…” my words stall because I’m not sure if staying with JT is a good idea. “I don’t know.” I don’t want whatever this is between us becoming complicated. And moving in here… even for a short amount of time feels… well, it feels all sorts of complicated.

  “Look, you need a place to stay, and I have this entire house all to myself. It won’t be a problem.”

  I’m grasping at straws. I just want to slow this down and think it through. “I don’t want to get in your way.”

  “Are you in my way right now?”

  “I don’t think so, but-”

  Rather quickly he silences any further protest by planting a kiss against my lips. “Then it’s settled. You’ll stay here until you find another place to live.”

  Brows drawing together, I shake my head. I have no idea how we just arrived at this arrangement so quickly. I need some time to think about it. Maybe explore some other avenues. “But-”

  “Do you have any other options?”

  I haven’t really thought it through. He’s not giving me time. “No, it’s just-”

  His gorgeous green eyes take on even more intensity as he pushes me back against the couch before slowly crawling on top of me. Almost instinctively my legs wrap around his thick waist before I unconsciously squeeze them, trying to alleviate some of the pressure now throbbing at my center. The feel of his long, thick erection pushing against me has a small groan leaving my lips as he thrusts against me.

  Even though my mind has turned decidedly foggy, I can’t help but ask, “What about Liam? We both know there’s no way he’d ever let me stay here.” That thought leaves me cringing. My brother will definitely blow a gasket if he finds out I’m messing around with JT. Liam is super protective. He always has been. Ever since he was fifteen years old and our mother walked out on us. I may be a twenty-one-year-old grown woman, but he doesn’t necessarily see me that way. No matter how old I am, I’ll always be his little sister.

  I also know exactly what would happen if I moved in with Gia and my brother. He wouldn’t see it as a temporary situation. He hates that I moved out of the dorms and into my own apartment. At one point, he even tried pulling rank by telling me that if I didn’t live at the house with him or in the dorms, he wouldn’t pay for my last year of college. Thankfully it was Gia who slapped him upside the head, reminding him that his money didn’t come with strings and that she would foot the bill for school this year if she had to.

  Liam caved within seconds.

  But that doesn’t necessarily mean he was happy about it. Nor does it mean that he wouldn’t seize any little opportunity to get me under his roof. He enjoys his family being close.

  So, in all honesty, I would rather not mention any of this to him.

  It’s just easier that way.

  What JT and I have isn’t a relationship.

  It’s more of an arrangement.

  JT licks and nips his way down my throat as all of these thoughts continue circling around within my mind. For just one fleeting moment, I wonder if he’s simply trying to distract me, but I can’t understand why he would do that. He can’t possibly want me staying with him. Wouldn’t that cramp his style?

  Playing house with him…

  It feels dangerous.

  But he’s right.

  I don’t have a lot of options open to me right now. Staying with Liam wouldn’t be a problem. But I’d have to give him some sort of reasonable explanation as to why living with Holly is no longer working out.

  “You’re a grown woman, Claire. You’re old enough to make your own decisions.”

  I groan as his mouth continues doing the most delicious things to my body.

  I hate lying to my family. Not to mention that I’m a terrible liar. I feel like Liam will see right through whatever bogus story I concoct. And then he’ll ferret out the truth. He’s good at that sort of thing.

  “Yeah,” I murmur feeling distracted by the play of his mouth over my skin, “you’d think that would be the case, but it’s not.”

  “Then we won’t tell him. We’ll just see how things go. You might not even be here for very long. A week or two. No point in upsetting him for that, right?” He pushes my shirt up to my neck. Since I’m not wearing a bra, there’s nothing to get in his way of zeroing in on my breasts. Within moments, he’s sucking my nipple into his mouth, and I’m arching my back as intense feelings flood through my entire body. I can’t help but squirm against him wanting only to alleviate some of the throbbing pressure.

  “Umm, right.”

  I’m so jacked up right now, I can’t even remember what I’m agreeing to.

  Even though I don’t want to think about Ryan, I can’t help but compare the two men. Actually, there is no comparison. I never felt a tenth of this when Ryan was touching me. Maybe that was part of the problem. Maybe that’s why it never felt right between us. All I know is that JT stirs everything to life so very easily.

  And I absolutely love it.

  Love that it feels so explosive between us.

  Addictive.

  He spends his sweet time on one breast before kissing and licking a path to the other. Then he’s lavishing attention on that stiffened peak. Unable to help myself, I tunnel my fingers through his thick blond hair trying to pull him even closer.

  When he finally releases me, I feel as though I’m on the verge of exploding. His eyelids are heavy as he pierces me with his green-eyed gaze.

  “So you’ll stay?”

  I suck in a deep breath as he leans down, kissing me again.

  His voice drops a few octaves. “What’s it going to be, Claire?”

  “If you’re sure that’s what you want.” I gulp as his warm breath feathers across my exposed flesh.

  “I’m sure.”

  “Alright… then I guess I’ll stay.” Quickly I tack on, “But just until I find a new place.”

  Moving up my body, he presses his lips against mine. Almost immediately I open to him until his tongue is able to tangle with my own.

  Pulling away, he searches my eyes. There’s a satisfied smile tugging his lips upwards. “Good. I’ll drive you to school tomorrow, and then I’ll pick you up afterward. We’ll go to your apartment and get your stuff.” His expression hardens. “I don’t want you going back there alone.”

  Ummm… I’m still in the throes of passion over here, and he’s suddenly talking logistics? I don’t know how he’s able to shift gears so quickly, but he has. As I narrow my gaze, he chuckles. A moment later, he’s off me and tugging down my shirt before pulling me back into his arms. For some strange reason, I get the feeling that I’ve been played but I’m not exactly sure how or why.

  Brows drawn together, I can only stare at him, wondering why we just stopped fooling around. When it becomes obvious that he’s
not going to continue, the words are shooting out of my mouth before I can stop them. “Sooooo, that’s it? You heat me all up only to leave me hanging?”

  A huge, delighted smile spills across his handsome face. The man looks ridiculously pleased by my reaction.

  Jerk.

  That was so not the response I was looking for. Needless to say, it only has my frustration skyrocketing to the surface. “You’re a real tease, you know that?”

  He laughs before pulling me onto his lap and attempting to kiss me.

  Even though I don’t necessarily want to, I turn my face away from his. My voice is all grumbly. “Yeah… I wouldn’t be starting something you obviously have no intention of finishing.”

  Before I can blink my eyes, I’m flat on my back again, and he’s looming over me. Unlike Ryan, it never crosses my mind to be frightened or nervous. Because somehow I know that JT won’t hurt me. In fact, he’s done everything in his power not to hurt me. Which, a few months- even weeks ago, would have surprised the hell out of me.

  His voice is deliciously low when he finally murmurs, “When we finally make love, it’s not going to be when you’ve been hurt or are nursing some pain inflicted by another man. Tonight you’re going to sleep in my bed, and I’m going to hold you in my arms.” Leaning down, he takes my lips with his own before slowly pulling away again. “Now, if you want me to lick that sweet little pussy of yours because I’ve got you all riled up, I’d be more than happy to do it.” His eyes kindle with heat as if he loves the idea just as much as I do. “Is that what you want, baby?”

  The images he paints are enough to leave me on the verge of self-combusting.

  “Yes,” I whisper, barely able to push the words out, “that’s what I want.” Unable to help myself, I squirm beneath him wanting it right this very minute.

  “See how easy that was?”

  Again he takes my lips in a kiss that very nearly singes my insides.

  “You about ready to head upstairs or are you still watching this ridiculous show?”

  “What show?”

  He grins down at me. “Good answer.”

  And like he’s done since he found me in the lobby of my apartment building a few hours ago, he picks me up with ease before carrying me up the back staircase that leads to his bedroom.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Claire

  “So… you’re not going to tell me what the surprise is?”

  Gia grins over at me as she continues prepping vegetables for dinner. “Your brother would kill me if I did.”

  Fat chance of that happening. Liam loves his wife more than almost anything else. The almost anything else being his three ridiculously adorable kids. “Come on, just one small clue? You know I hate surprises.”

  Because nothing good ever seems to come from them.

  Surprise- Mom walked out and is never coming back.

  Surprise- Dad gambled away the mortgage money, and now we’ve lost the house.

  Surprise- Holly slept with my ex-boyfriend.

  I could go on, but I won’t.

  Looking resolute, she shakes her head. Hmmm. I don’t think I’m going to be able to drag whatever is going on out of Gia. Knowing that Liam has something up his sleeve only sets my nerves further on edge. Feeling fidgety, I play with the glass of water sitting on the marble island where I’ve pulled up a stool.

  Tonight is the first dinner that JT and I are having at my brother’s house since I’ve been… well, since I’ve been staying at his place. Although, just to be clear, it’s not like we’re living together. This is strictly a temporary arrangement.

  We’re really more like… roommates.

  Roommates who just so happen to sleep together in the same bed.

  Roommates who cuddle and kiss and do all sorts of wickedly delightful things to one another.

  That being said, every chance I get, I find myself reiterating that this set up is short-term. The very last thing I need is for JT to think that I’ve suddenly become delusional in regards to what’s going on between us. Nope. Not going to happen. I’ve got my eyes wide open when it comes to JT Higgins. Although, strangely enough, he doesn’t seem bothered in the least and usually ends up changing the subject whenever I mention looking for a new place. He certainly doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to get me out of there.

  Because I want the situation with Holly rectified as quickly as possible, my ex-roommate and I have been sending somewhat stilted texts back and forth. Gone is the easy relationship we used to enjoy. Which just seems sad. Not only did I lose my boyfriend, but my best friend as well. After what she said on Sunday, I told her that I couldn’t continue living with her and that I’d like to find someone to sublet my room for the rest of the year.

  She seems perfectly fine with that arrangement.

  I hate to admit it, because it makes me sound really pathetic, but I had actually been holding out just a little glimmer of hope that maybe she would come to her senses and apologize for hooking up with Ryan.

  That hasn’t happened.

  There is zero remorse on her part. Clearly, Holly doesn’t see anything wrong with what she did. Or what she said. We’ve been friends for more than three years. I have no idea why she would choose to believe Ryan over me.

  But that’s exactly what she did.

  I haven’t bothered asking what her situation is with my ex-boyfriend. As far as I’m concerned, those two can have each other.

  So we’ve placed an ad through a university website and will hopefully get some interest soon. I’m not going to bother looking for another apartment until I have someone lined up for this one. I’ve already decided not to mention the fact that I’m moving to Gia and Liam until it’s a done deal.

  The less they know at this point, the better.

  “How’s school going so far? We haven’t seen much of you this past week.”

  Which is ironic, when you think about it, because I’m just a few miles away. “It’s fine. Just trying to stay on top of everything.” I have three classes this semester along with my student teaching placement which starts in less than two weeks. I’ve already met with the first-grade teacher I’ll be working with. She seems super nice. I’m excited. At first, I’ll simply be observing the classroom to learn their patterns and schedules before I slowly start taking over more and more of the teaching responsibilities.

  “How’s the apartment? Do you and Holly need anything? The three of us could go shopping next weekend if you’d like.”

  I almost wince as the words slip right off my tongue. “Ummm, no. We’re good right now.”

  “Maybe the kids and I can swing by during the week before things get really busy with student teaching and we can grab some lunch. I know Liam would love to take you out. We can eat somewhere near campus.” She grins. “Wouldn’t that be fun?”

  Trying to sound nonchalant, and not like I’m in the throes of panic, I agree, “Yeah, that sounds great.”

  “After dinner, I’ll look at my calendar, and we’ll set something up. Otherwise, it’ll never happen.”

  And wouldn’t that be a shame?

  “Okay.”

  The smile on my face is so forced that it’s beginning to hurt my cheeks. I can only hope that everything will work itself out and I’ll find someone to take over my lease within the next week or so. Then I can look for another place to live. After that, I can break it to Liam and Gia that the arrangement with Holly didn’t work out. My plan is to tell them that we had a big fight, couldn’t resolve our differences, and I ended up moving out.

  Which is pretty darn close to the truth.

  Gia continues chopping peppers, carrots, and green beans as I glance into the family room. Max is down for a late afternoon nap, and Charlotte and Ty are watching Curious George on TV. Just like always, they seem totally captivated. I’m kind of wishing they were running around, acting crazy. I think Gia could use the distraction. I don’t want her asking any more questions about the apartment.

  Or Holly.


  Or that jerk-

  “So what’s up with Ryan? He wasn’t able to make it last week for dinner. Is he stopping by tonight?”

  I almost groan.

  Yeah… I probably should have already mentioned the fact that we broke up. Right now it feels like I’m keeping all sorts of secrets from Liam and Gia. And I hate it. I’ve always had such an open and honest relationship with them. But within the last week or so, that’s changed.

  “No, he won’t be coming.”

  She’s silent for just a moment before asking, “Is something going on, Claire? You seem a little off today. Not your usual self.”

  Her blue eyes continue flicking back and forth between me and the veggies she’s prepping. I shift uncomfortably on the stool that’s pulled up to the massive marble island where she’s working.

  All of a sudden my throat feels parched. Unsure what to say, I bring the glass of water to my lips before practically draining the entire thing. Gingerly setting it back down again, I glance over at my sister-in-law hoping that she’s once again engrossed in getting dinner ready.

  Nope.

  Not at all.

  In fact, she’s holding the knife in one hand while continuing to stare at me questioningly. When I hesitate, her eyes narrow as if she’s somehow able to ferret out the truth just by looking hard enough. Which honestly, wouldn’t surprise me in the least. Gia is good. Really good. Sometimes she’s able to get me to cave just by giving me one penetrating look. And then I fold like a cheap house of cards. Those kids of hers aren’t going to stand a chance when they’re teenagers. The woman seems to have some kind of sixth sense where her family is concerned.

  When it becomes apparent that she won’t be letting the subject drop, I decide that maybe I should throw a little bread crumb her way. Inhaling a deep breath, I decide to tell her about Ryan. Not everything, of course. I need to be careful about what I say because this whole mess with Ryan, Holly, and JT feels impossibly intertwined and difficult to separate.

  “I probably should have mentioned it sooner, but Ryan and I broke up.”