If You Were Mine Read online

  Whatever had just begun to loosen within me tenses right back up again.

  “That girl seems a little too innocent for the likes of you.”

  Wiping all expression from my face, I rip my eyes from Claire before tossing a quick look at my brother, who has sidled up beside me. Which shows you just how out of it I am because the guy weighs a solid two fifty. He’s not exactly light on his feet. No matter how stealthy he’s trying to be.

  I mutter under my breath, “We’re just friends.”

  He snorts. “Funny, that’s exactly what she said.” He pauses before adding, “Hmmm, I sure wouldn’t mind having a friend like that.” Elbowing me in the ribs none too gently, he scratches his chin before continuing with, “Think she would be interested in befriending me as well? I’m definitely the more handsome Higgins brother.”

  The words are shooting out of my mouth before I can even think to rein them back in. “Stay the fuck away from Claire. And you’re right, she’s too damn innocent.” This last part is more or less mumbled because it’s the truth and I damn well know it.

  I have no business doing anything with Claire Garrison.

  But after picking her up from that fraternity party Friday night and hearing her recount what that douchebag tried doing to her, I feel all kinds of protective where she’s concerned. Which is crazy because it’s not like I don’t want to get her just as naked as that jackass ex-boyfriend of hers.

  Unlike him, though, I’m sure as shit not going to force her into something she doesn’t want. Or isn’t ready for. Hell, Friday night when I tasted her flesh and then told her to think everything over… you can be damn sure that’s the first time those words have ever slid from my lips.

  But Claire is different. I’ve always known that she was different. And she’s worth taking my time with. No matter how long I have to wait. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want her. Nor have I ever wanted to protect someone the way I want to keep her safe.

  “So that’s Garrison’s little sister, huh?”

  His reminder has my lips instantly pulling down at the corners. “Yeah.” I have no flipping clue what’s going on between the two of us. Is this simply a… deflowering, for lack of a better word? Or are we starting something up here?

  I wish I had a better handle on the situation.

  But I don’t. I’m flying by the seat of my pants right now.

  “And he’s cool with whatever’s going on between the two of you? Because he told me- in no uncertain terms, I might add- to stay the hell away from both his wife and his sister.”

  “Yup, that sounds like Garrison alright.” Then I shake my head before saying once more, as if repeating it out loud will somehow make it true, “I told you, we’re just friends.”

  Apparently, he doesn’t believe the load of crap I’m shoveling his way because he grunts rather obnoxiously in response. “How old is she anyway? Just tell me that she’s not jailbait.”

  I can tell by the tone in his voice that he’s eyeing her up as we speak and it immediately sets me on edge. When Joe and I were in high school, even in college, we would hit on each other’s women. There were a handful that I showed up with that ended up leaving with him. And there were a few of Joe’s that I swayed away from him. Not one damn time did I ever feel jealous or angry. It was a game. Nothing more. These women didn’t mean anything to either one of us. But that’s not how I’m feeling right now. His words leave my hands fisting at my sides. Part of me would like nothing more than to grab him by the collar and…

  “Twenty-one.”

  “Hmmm. Good to know.”

  All he’s doing is trying to get a rise out of me.

  And I know it.

  “Well, if you’re not interested, then maybe you wouldn’t mind putting in a good word for your big brother?” He continues to grin. “She sure is pretty. And tall.” His whistle is long and low. Just enough to claw its way under my skin. “Would you just look at those long, lean legs.”

  Okay, now he’s really starting to piss me off.

  “Stop looking at her damn legs,” I finally grumble.

  Looking pleased with himself, he elbows me again. “I’m certainly not the only one checking her out.”

  Narrowing my eyes, I slowly glance around us. Sure enough, there are about seven different dudes checking her out. I squeeze the bottle of water in my hand until the plastic crumples like paper. My brother just continues to chuckle. Clearly, he knows that my feelings for Claire aren’t as platonic as I’d like him to believe.

  “I’ve never seen you into a woman before. It’s actually a little disturbing.”

  I thrust my hand through my still damp hair before deciding to level with him. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with her. Up until a week or two ago, she couldn’t stand being in the same room with me. But things have changed.” My eyes arrow back to Claire as she leans down to speak with her niece. Since she’s bending at the waist, her perfect heart-shaped ass is now on display for every guy in the near vicinity to ogle.

  Fuck.

  My brows snap together as a few men openly admire her backside. It takes everything I have inside not to stalk over and drag her out of the restaurant. None of my teammates have ever dared to approach her, but that’s only because Liam has put the fear of God into them. Otherwise, there are probably at least ten dudes from the team who would be all over her.

  Thankfully I see Liam shoot a few hard glares around the room and that’s enough to have a couple of the guys abruptly turning away. Although there’s at least two who continue rather stealthily giving her the side eye.

  What a bunch of douchebags.

  I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to grab a woman and haul her ass out the door just so other men would stop gawking at her. But that’s exactly how I feel about Claire. Those thoughts are enough to leave me plowing an agitated hand through my hair.

  “She’s a virgin,” I suddenly blurt.

  Shit.

  I didn’t mean to say that out loud.

  Or maybe I did.

  Maybe what I need is for my older brother to knock some damn sense into me before I do something both Claire and I will end up regretting. For just a moment he looks surprised. With widened eyes, he continues staring at her.

  “Shut the fuck up.” He pauses before adding, “You said she was twenty-one.”

  “She is.”

  His brows lower. Now he looks genuinely pissed off, which in a way, is kind of comical. “What the hell are you doing with a virgin? Not to mention that she’s the younger sister of a teammate. You just can’t fuck her and throw her away like you’re used to doing.” Looking frighteningly similar to our father, he shakes his head. “You’ve really stepped in it this time.”

  Sucking my lower lip into my mouth, I continue contemplating Claire for another long moment. “She just wants me to, you know, do the deed. She’s tired of being a virgin.”

  Voice rising, he throws an arm in her direction. “That girl can’t get laid on her own?”

  I quickly slap his arm down before whispering harshly, “Lower your voice! She’s been focused on other things like school. She hasn’t dated much.”

  Looking confused, he folds his arms across his wide, barrel-like chest. “Why you?” Then he shakes his head. “You just said that until recently, she couldn’t even stand your guts.”

  “I didn’t say that she couldn’t stand my guts,” I mutter. Although I think that’s probably a fairly accurate description of her previous feelings for me. “I kind of told her that I would make it good for her.”

  He stares at me for a long moment before rolling his eyes. “You know this is going to end disastrously, right?”

  Yup… completely aware of it.

  “Getting involved with a virgin can be messy. They get attached. You’re not going to be able to just shake her loose. Not without repercussions.”

  I don’t say it, but… I don’t think I want to shake Claire loose. At this point, I’m more worried about what Liam
will think than anything else. And then there’s the fact that Claire only sees this as a short-term deal. At this point, I’m thinking more than that but I can’t exactly tell her that, now can I? I don’t want to spook her. I need to ease Claire into thinking of this as more of a relationship.

  When Claire finally takes her leave, she sends one last look over her slender shoulder as if she knows precisely where I’m standing and that I’ve had eyes on her this entire time. She gives me just a hint of a smile before disappearing through the exit.

  I forget that my brother is even standing next to me until he claps me on the shoulder. “You’re fucked, dude.”

  Yeah… tell me something I don’t know.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Claire

  Using my key, I open the door to the apartment I share with Holly. I haven’t seen her since we were at the frat party Friday night. She wasn’t home on Saturday when JT dropped me off, nor was she around before I left this morning for the game. So I haven’t had a chance to tell her about everything that happened with Ryan.

  My guess is that she’s going to flip out.

  Stepping inside the apartment, I notice that her door is shut. Holly only holes up in her room when she’s sleeping or studying. Setting my purse down on the kitchen table, I go to her door, knocking softly on it.

  “Hols? You in there?”

  Blowing out a breath, I realize that I could really use her advice regarding the whole JT situation. Holly has a ton more experience than I do. She’s had a slew of boyfriends over the last three years. So if there’s anyone who can help me navigate these choppy waters, it’s my roommate.

  I’m almost surprised when I hear hushed voices coming from within her room. Holly is in between boyfriends right now, and she’s not one to bring strangers back to the apartment. At least she never has before.

  “Holly?”

  “Ummm, yeah… I’ll be out in a minute.”

  Leaning towards the door, I hear the rustling of covers. Then there are more muted murmurs again. Yup, she’s definitely got a guy in there. A moment later, the door cracks open. Instead of swinging it wide, she squeezes her curvy body through before closing it again so I can’t see inside.

  She’s wrapped up in a short robe.

  At four thirty on a Sunday afternoon.

  Yeah… pretty obvious what’s been going on in there.

  Her long, dark hair is mussed.

  Color is riding high on her cheeks.

  And her eyes are all bright and shiny.

  Not to mention totally satisfied.

  Hands going to my hips, a smile curves my lips upwards before I shake my head. “Why you little hussy! You’ve got a man in there!”

  All of a sudden, she buries her face in her hands. I can’t help but laugh at her embarrassment. Laying my hand on the doorknob, I pretend to twist it open. “Who is it, hmmm?”

  She practically leaps at me, knocking my hand away from the handle. “No! Don’t do that.”

  Eyes widening in astonishment, my brows slowly draw together. “Settle down, Hols, I was just kidding. I wouldn’t do that to you.” I nod my head towards her room. “Do I know him?”

  She bites her lower lip. “Umm, yeah.” Nervously she rakes both hands through her long strands, gathering up the thick mass in her fingers before lifting it away from her face. “I wasn’t expecting you home so early. I figured you would probably hang out at your brother’s place for a while.”

  Yeah. Sometimes I do that. But I’ve got some work to finish up.

  And then… well… I guess JT is swinging by to pick me up. Argh… I have no idea what’s happening on that front. I wish Holly didn’t have some dude here. I’d really love to sit down and talk this out with her.

  But I guess it can wait for another time.

  One when she’s not so busy…

  Wait just a minute… I know this guy?

  Lowering my voice, I whisper, “Please tell me that it’s not the guy from across the hall who keeps bothering you.” I shake my head. “What happened to your rule about not shitting where you eat?”

  Just as she opens her mouth, Holly’s bedroom door swings wide open. Ryan stands there in nothing more than a pair of tight black boxer briefs. There’s a huge smirk wreathing his face as he leans casually against the doorframe as if what’s happening between the three of us is a normal everyday occurrence.

  My mouth tumbles open, hitting the carpeted floor in the process, as my eyes flare wide in shock. I wish I could say that my mind isn’t somersaulting and that I take all this in with a grain of salt, acting like it’s no big deal that my roommate and best friend has apparently slept with my ex-boyfriend of oh- approximately thirty-six hours, but that kind of reaction feels impossible. I’m nowhere near sophisticated enough to pull off something like that.

  I can tell by the smug look in his eyes that what happened between him and Holly was a calculated move on his part to hurt me. Considering his behavior Friday night, maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised, but… I am. It hurts that Ryan would deliberately pull this kind of bullshit. Yeah, we were only seeing each other for two months but, we’ve been friends for three years.

  Doesn’t that mean anything?

  More than that, it stuns me that Holly would stab me in the back like this by sleeping with him. Literally within days of us breaking up. What the hell was she thinking?

  When I texted her Friday night, I simply told her that I was leaving the party. I hadn’t wanted to get into the specifics regarding what happened with Ryan in a text message. I can only imagine that my ex-boyfriend gave her some twisted version of the events.

  And just like that, I feel sick to my stomach.

  I don’t even bother looking at Ryan. Honestly, he’s not the one who matters in this situation. It’s Holly’s betrayal that cuts me to the bone. I really thought she had my back. That our friendship was solid. Obviously, I was wrong. In fact, I’m not sure when I’ve been more wrong about something.

  Well, except for Ryan.

  I was definitely wrong about him.

  I keep my eyes focused on Holly who now looks as though she wishes the floor would open up and swallow her whole. Well, that’s tough shit, sweetheart. This is a mess of her own making, and she’s going to have to deal with it.

  With me.

  My voice, when I’m finally able to push out the words, sounds incredulous. As if I still can’t wrap my mind around what I’m seeing. And you know what? I can’t. I’m tempted to rub my eyes and hope it all goes away. But I know that it won’t.

  I jerk my thumb in Ryan’s direction. “You really slept with him?”

  Her normally pretty face turns an even brighter shade of color as her eyes quickly slide away from mine. Clearly, she’s embarrassed to be caught in the act.

  Just as she should be.

  When she says nothing in response, Ryan decides to add his own two cents to the conversation. “Yup, she did.” Smirking, he continues to lounge against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. “And guess what? She didn’t make me wait two months for it either.”

  Reaching out, he strokes his fingers over the curve of my jaw before I quickly bat his hand away.

  “Don’t touch me,” I hiss.

  He snorts. “Now there’s a familiar refrain.”

  Those words feel like a knife slicing unexpectedly through my heart.

  Finally snapping out of her trance, Holly spears Ryan with a hard-edged glare. Although he doesn’t seem bothered by it in the least. “Get in my room.” Her dark brows lower when he doesn’t budge. “Now.”

  Shrugging nonchalantly, he steps back inside before shutting the door, once again leaving Holly and me alone in the hallway. Holding my eyes, her shoulders collapse.

  I shake my head because I can’t imagine what she could possibly say to make all this okay. “Why would you sleep with my boyfriend?”

  “Ex-boyfriend,” she cuts in swiftly as if that somehow absolves her from any culpability.
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  My eyes widen right before I start laughing. “Riiight. And exactly how long were we broken up before you screwed him?”

  Since I ended things with Ryan Friday night and it’s now Sunday afternoon, it couldn’t have been all that long. The blush that had already been stinging her cheeks deepens a few shades. The air between us grows thick and uncomfortable.

  “Well, it was after you took off with JT.” The way she says the words makes it sound like this is somehow my fault. Like I did something wrong. “I hadn’t checked my phone, so I didn’t even know you’d left the party. I saw Ryan downstairs, and I asked him where you were. He told me that you two had just broken up. He was really upset about what had happened.”

  I almost roll my eyes at that. I can’t imagine Ryan telling her what really transpired between us. That he asked me up to his room for the sole purpose of having sex. When I didn’t just go along with it, he then forced himself on me.

  “And so you decided that out of all the guys here, you needed to hook up with my ex-boyfriend of an hour or so?”

  Shifting awkwardly from one foot to another, she admits, “It wasn’t like that.”

  I arch a brow.

  Actually, it sounds exactly like that.

  As all this tumbles through my head, I realize that I’m hurt, but not as angry as I probably should be. Right now, I just feel kind of numb. And disappointed.

  “What exactly was it like then?”

  For a long silent moment, she simply gnaws on her bottom lip. Feeling impatient, I continue staring at her, willing her to give me some sort of reasonable explanation that I can make sense of. Just when I think she isn’t going to respond, she slowly forces out the words, “I’ve liked Ryan ever since I met him freshman year but he’s always been so into you.”

  When I open my mouth to blast her, she quickly cuts in with, “Look, I know this was a really shitty move on my part. I’m a crappy friend, no doubt about it. But I’ve liked him for a really long time.” She shrugs. “And I’m not sure you ever did.”

  Her words knock the breath right out of my lungs. That she would have the audacity to say that to me. As if that rationale makes everything okay.