If You Were Mine Page 14

  It occurs to me that I’ve spent more time conversing with JT in the last week or so than I have the entire time we’ve known one another. Stranger than that, it’s been, for the most part, enjoyable.

  “You seem to be in a better place now,” I admit. He seems focused. More clear minded. I like this JT a lot better than the one I first met.

  “Your brother has everything to do with that,” he says quickly. “He’s the only one who stepped up and offered to help pry my head out of my ass.”

  That admission doesn’t surprise me. “Liam is a really good guy.” The very best. I may have been dealt a crappy hand in the parent department, but my brothers totally make up for it. I don’t know what I would do without them.

  He nods. “He is.”

  Apprehension fills my voice. “You’re not going to tell him about what happened with Ryan, are you?”

  Something hardens in his eyes before he slowly shakes his head. “As long as you’re not going to work things out with him, then there’s no point in cranking Liam up. Because we both know that he’d want to kick Ryan’s ass.” Looking pissed off all over again, he snorts. “I’m tempted to go kick his ass right now for what he did.”

  I shake my head because I don’t want that. “Nothing happened.”

  He swims a bit closer. His eyes stay locked on mine the entire time he’s closing the distance until we’re no more than two feet apart.

  “It’s not for his lack of trying.” His voice deepens, becoming harsher. “If he’d had his way, tonight would have ended much differently.” His stare is heated and angry. “You realize that, right?”

  The scary part is that I do know that. I can’t get it out of my head. “Yeah.”

  Ryan wasn’t going to stop. I’d asked him several times to back off, to slow down. I’m lucky that I was able to stay calm and pretend to go along with it until I was able to get away. Otherwise, JT is right… tonight’s outcome would have been much different.

  “I don’t want you forgetting that, Claire. You have to be careful.”

  But that’s the thing- I didn’t think I needed to be careful with Ryan. We were going out. I had been planning to sleep with him the very next day. The very next day! If he hadn’t pulled that shit up in his bedroom, I would have gone through with it.

  A little shiver skates down my spine.

  It goes without saying that I’m relieved. Of course I am. Ryan would have been one gigantic mistake on my part. But the fact remains that I’m still a twenty-one-year-old virgin. And going out to a bar, finding some random dude to take home for the night… I just don’t think I can do that. Not my first time. I just always imagined that I would have a boyfriend. Someone who actually cared about me.

  The funny thing is that I did.

  Or… well… I thought I did.

  Apparently, Ryan didn’t care enough to wait until I was ready.

  Without thinking, the words are tumbling out of my mouth before I can stop them. “I’m really tired of being a virgin.”

  Something flashes in his eyes. For a long moment, we simply stare at one another before he says softly, “Then let me be the one.”

  He swims a bit closer.

  “I’ll make it good for you, Claire, I promise that I will. We can take things as slow as you want. I’m not going to rush or force you into something you aren’t comfortable with.”

  I bite my lip in contemplation.

  How is it possible that a few days ago, I told him that I would never sleep with him? In fact, I told him that I never wanted to see him again and here I am actually considering his offer.

  Wait… is that what I’m doing?

  Am I seriously considering having sex with JT?

  I think I am.

  I mean, why shouldn’t I?

  Us sleeping together isn’t going to change anything. It’s not like we’re getting together or I’m suddenly going to be JT Higgins’ girlfriend.

  I almost snort at the utter ridiculousness of that thought.

  JT Higgins doesn’t do girlfriends.

  It would be more of an… arrangement of sorts. And maybe… maybe that’s the way to go. It would definitely be more cut and dry. Here’s a guy who has been with his fair share of women, right? He’s someone who can probably make it really, really good for me. And there wouldn’t be any feelings to get tangled up in. I could just get it over with, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.

  Eyeing him warily, I find myself asking, “It would just be straight up sex, right?”

  Chapter Sixteen

  JT

  “Yeah, of course it would be.”

  The lie rolls easily off my tongue. The last thing I want to do is scare her away with the truth. I see the indecision flickering in her gray eyes. She’s not totally on board with this. Not yet anyway. Needing to be near her, I swim a bit closer. In all honesty, I’m blown away that she’s even considering my offer.

  I wasn’t expecting that.

  Hell, the last time I saw her, she was telling me that she never wanted to see me again. Now she’s actually entertaining the idea of sleeping with me.

  Nodding, she continues to look contemplative. As if she’s truly weighing the idea of us having sex.

  Together.

  A more shocking turn of events I could never have imagined.

  “You can trust me, Claire. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  It’s slowly that she releases a pent-up breath. “I didn’t think Ryan would hurt me either, but he did.”

  “I’m not Ryan,” I cut in swiftly, “I would never force a woman to have sex. That’s not who I am.”

  Unable to help myself, I continue inching closer. When she doesn’t immediately back away, I lean forward, capturing her lips with my own. My hand slides slowly to the back of her neck, pulling her towards me. The kiss is soft, gentle almost.

  Tonight isn’t a night to be forceful.

  Leaving her mouth, I lick and nip a trail down the column of her throat before finally pulling away.

  “I want you. I’ve wanted you for three long years, but I’m not going to force you into doing something you don’t want.” I press another tender kiss against her collarbone. More than anything, I want to pull the silky cups of her bra away from her high, tight breasts. When a small whimper leaves her mouth, I do it again. “The decision has to be yours.”

  “JT…”

  The way she groans my name leaves my cock stiffening. Unable to help myself, I kiss her warm flesh again. I’d kiss every damn inch of her body if she’d let me.

  “Okay,” she finally whispers, “I want to do this. I want you to be the one.”

  Thank fuck.

  That’s the only thought spiraling through my head. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anyone more than I want Claire. The way I’ve always wanted her.

  “Good.” I press another kiss against the shallow valley between her breasts. Her fingers immediately thread their way through my hair as if to hold me in place.

  “I think we should probably head inside now. It’s late.”

  As soon as I say the words, her breath hitches. The sound leaves me chuckling.

  Almost.

  “To sleep, Claire,” I clarify. “We’re going in to sleep. Nothing more. We’re not going to start anything tonight, okay? I still want you to think it over. And then we’ll talk.” My eyes hold hers in the darkness. She’s absolutely gorgeous with moonlight spilling over her and the backdrop of stars dotting the velvety night sky overhead. “And if you change your mind, it’s okay. I won’t be mad.”

  Disappointed, most definitely.

  But never mad.

  Looking a little relieved, she finally nods. “Okay.”

  Then she’s swimming for the other side, and I’m trailing behind her. Claire hauls herself out of the pool before immediately wrapping her arms around her middle as the cool breeze rushes over her. As she stands there shivering, I point towards a teak cabinet near the back of the house. “There are towels
in there. Grab one for me, too.”

  Making little brrrr noises, she quickly scampers over to the cabinet before wrapping herself in an oversized plush towel. Then she grabs one for me as well. Returning to the side of the pool, she gives me a look as if wondering what I’m waiting for since I haven’t budged from the water.

  When she finally quirks a brow, I decide- What the fuck. I guess she should see what she’s getting, right?

  Using my arms, I haul myself out of the pool. Her gasp is audible as I stand before her. Clutching the towel tightly to her body, her eyes slowly lick over my naked form. Neither of us utters a single word. I simply allow her to eat me up with her wide gray gaze. If I’m being perfectly honest, I’ve had a boner almost the entire time we’ve been swimming together. And the cool night air now swirling around us is doing absolutely nothing to diminish that fact.

  Like at all.

  I didn’t think it was possible, but I’m actually getting harder.

  My eyes stay glued to hers. For some reason, I want to see every nuance of expression that crosses her face.

  I’ve always been in excellent shape. Staying out until the wee hours of the morning and getting loaded, it never affected me. I still worked out and it was enough to keep me in tip-top condition. But now that I’m not partying anymore, now that I’ve dedicated myself to a disciplined workout regimen and am trying to feed my body a healthy mix of proteins and carbs, I’m in the best damn shape of my life.

  Every sinewy muscle I have is ripped and cut. Perfectly honed. And if the look in her wide eyes is any indication, then my newfound dedication has paid off.

  When her gaze finally locks on mine, she whispers, “How is it possible that you’re even more beautiful than I imagined?”

  And… my cock just stiffened up even more.

  All I want to do is scoop her up into my arms and carry her to my bedroom. I want to remove the sexy bra and panties, dry her off, and lay her out on my bed so that I can enjoy every single luscious inch of her body. I want to show her exactly how pleasurable sex can be.

  Instead, I hold out my hand. “Can I have the towel?” My voice is low, scraped raw with pent-up need.

  Silently her eyes fall to my cock again. I can’t help the smirk that curves my lips upwards when she simply continues staring before finally handing over the towel. Taking my sweet damn time, because she seems so infatuated with my body, I dry off a bit before wrapping the plush material around my waist. Hell, had I even an inkling that she would react this way, I would have taken off my clothes years ago.

  Holding out my hand, I say, “Ready to go inside?”

  Shaking her head as if to clear it, she finally places her fingers in mine. As soon as she does, I close mine around hers as if she might just try escaping from me. At this point, there’s no way I’m letting her go.

  Whether she realizes it or not, Claire Garrison is mine.

  Jackwad opened the door this evening for me to saunter right on through and finally have what I’ve spent years pining after. I’m not going to throw away this opportunity. I’m all too aware of the precious gift I’ve been given.

  Stopping in the kitchen, we make a light snack. A roast beef and cheddar sandwich on whole wheat bread that we end up splitting. Before she found me earlier, I’d been out in the pool for about forty-five minutes or so trying to swim off this pissed-off, restless feeling that has been brewing within me ever since I found Claire outside the fraternity house. Even though pushing myself through a good thirty laps burned most of it away, it’s still there, gnawing at the pit of my gut.

  The only thing I have to console myself with is the fact that Claire is here with me now where I can keep her safe. Her ex-boyfriend is never going to get his hands on her again.

  After we devour the shared sandwich, we head upstairs. By now it’s after three in the morning. When we arrive at the door to the guest bedroom, I linger at the threshold. She turns those big gray eyes on me expectantly.

  I know what she wants, and it’s not happening.

  Not tonight.

  “Are you coming in?”

  Looking resolute, I shake my head.

  As difficult as this is, I’m trying to be a gentleman here.

  It’s a first for me.

  But Claire is different.

  And what happens between us matters.

  “I told you earlier, I want you to take a few days to think about it.” Unable to resist, I pull her fingers, towing her slowly towards me until I’m able to wrap my arms around her before laying a gentle kiss upon her lips.

  Of course I want to take it deeper.

  But I don’t.

  “I already told you that I want to do this, JT. I want you to be my first.” She tries pulling me into the room, but my big body doesn’t budge. I’m at least double her weight. But her enthusiasm is freaking adorable.

  It really is.

  “Trust me, I want that, too.” You better believe I do. “But we don’t have to rush into anything. Let’s just take our time with this. The last thing I want is you regretting anything we do together. And a lot,” my words trail off as Ryan’s face morphs in my head and my resolve to treat her carefully re-solidifies, “has happened tonight. I think you need to take a little time and process that.” I kiss the tip of her nose. “Trust me, I won’t be changing my mind anytime soon. But if you do, it’s cool.”

  Apparently realizing that she isn’t going to be talking me into what she wants, the breath leaves her lungs as her shoulders fall. Finally, she nods her head. “Okay. I’ll take some time to think about it.” Tilting her head to the side, she narrows her eyes. “But I won’t be changing my mind, if that’s what you think is going to happen.”

  “I hope it doesn’t,” I say honestly, “but I want you to be sure.”

  Standing on her tiptoes, she presses her lips against mine.

  And that…

  That I’m not quite able to resist.

  The moment her soft, sweet lips are coasting over mine, I open to her tentative exploration. How is it possible that I’ve screwed more women than I can possibly remember and yet it’s this one, this one with practically no experience whatsoever, who drives me absolutely out of my mind?

  Once she slips her tongue inside my mouth, I’m done for. A low growl of need falls from my lips as my arms snake their way around her body, hauling her closer. Until her softness is perfectly aligned with all my hard lines. Until my hard cock is pressing against the apex of her thighs.

  When she moans, I scoop her up into my arms, carrying her towards the bed. Her long legs wrap around my waist.

  This right here…

  This very moment…

  How many damn times have I thought about her just like this?

  Imagined her long, lean legs wrapped around my waist, squeezing me tight?

  It’s gently that I lay her on top of the covers. Her towel is still wrapped around her. With my eyes locked on hers, I slowly unwrap the towel like I would a much-anticipated Christmas gift. Which is exactly how this feels. Like it’s Christmas, my birthday, every damn gift I’ve ever received all rolled into one. What’s revealed beneath is the pink and black polka dot panties and matching bra set that she’s wearing.

  They’re still damp from our midnight dip in the pool.

  My eyes slowly sweep over her as I gently tug her up, unfastening the bra. Her breath catches as I pull the silky material away from her body. I expect her to try covering her breasts with her arms, but she doesn’t. She simply lies there, allowing me to look my fill. Much like she did just twenty minutes earlier out on the pool deck.

  Her breasts are high and tight. And yet there’s an unexpected softness to them. Her nipples are sharp little points that beg for attention. Even though I shouldn’t, because playing with her body is a slippery slope, I find myself unable to resist.

  And so I lean down, tonguing the one closest to me before sucking it deep into my mouth. Groaning, she immediately arches her slender back as if needing to
get closer. My free hand goes to her other breast. Plucking and tugging at the nipple before palming the softness in my hand.

  Another incoherent little sound falls from her lips. It’s music to my ears. Her fingers slide through my hair, holding me tightly to her chest.

  I tongue the other breast before kissing and licking a delicious path to the middle of her rib cage, across the soft contours of her belly before finally arriving at her panties. Hooking my fingers into the damp fabric, I glance up at her, needing to see the consent in her eyes. I won’t do anything that makes her uncomfortable. Tonight Claire has allowed herself to be more open and vulnerable with me than she ever has before. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize the tentative relationship that is being forged between us.

  She gives me just a hint of a nod. There’s a fire burning brightly within her gorgeous gray eyes. I’ve never seen her look like that before. Sexy. Turned on. What I love more than anything is that I’m the one who made her this way. My eyes fasten onto hers as I slowly slide the material from her slender hips before slipping it down her calves and off her feet.

  And then she’s completely bared.

  As my gaze falls from hers, she continues lying there, not moving a muscle. Barely daring to breathe it seems. My eyes slide from her dusky-tipped breasts to the hollow of her belly to the slight patch of dark curls above her pussy.

  “You’re absolutely perfect, Claire.”

  And she is.

  Amazingly so.

  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful woman in my entire life and I’ve seen my fair share over the years. Hundreds of them. And yet, it’s this one who does it for me.

  Gulping, she asks quietly, “Are you going to make love to me?” There’s a faint tremble weaving its way through her voice.

  I want to.

  God, but I do.

  I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more in my entire life.

  Licking my lips, my eyes stay fastened onto that pink little pussy of hers. So badly do I want to explore her body. I want to find her clit and suckle it gently with my mouth. I want to scrape it lightly with my teeth until she’s moaning, writhing, spreading her legs further apart.