Love to Hate You Page 10

  As the edges of my lips reluctantly bow upward, his do the same. My belly flutters at the penetrating look he gives me. I’m not sure if we’ve ever shared a smile. Usually I’m too busy biting his head off or glaring for that to occur.

  It’s kind of surreal to be having this moment with him.

  We both fall silent. Oddly enough, it’s not stifling or uncomfortable. Carter glances at his hands before his gaze pierces mine. A sizzle of electricity zips unwantedly through my body. “So, that’s your mom, huh?”

  I collapse on the lounger again and close my eyes. His words send a myriad of emotions crashing through me. “Yup, that’s her.” The woman is a train wreck. Albeit a gorgeous, well put together train wreck. Most kids, at some point, want to grow up to be like their parents. Not me. I don’t want to be anything like her. The thought of turning into Lydia is a frightening one. I’ve taken my fair share of psychology classes at BU. I’m well acquainted with the whole nature-verses-nurture debate.

  In this instance, I hope nurture crushes nature.

  When I say nothing more on the topic, he picks up the thread of our conversation. “She seems…” his voice trails off as if searching for a complimentary adjective to describe the woman he just met. “Interesting.”

  I burst out laughing. Carter has no idea just how interesting Lydia can be. “That’s an understatement.”

  A slow grin spreads across his face as his eyes take on a teasing glint. My heart stutters for a beat or two. It’s a little disconcerting to have all that charm focused solely on me. I’m tempted to blush and play with the ends of my hair, but I resist the urge. Barely. This guy right here, this is the one all the girls fall for.

  “I was trying to be polite.”

  Now that’s funny. “Since when?” Polite has never been part of his playbook when dealing with me. Some of the attraction ebbs making it easier for me to breathe.

  Carter sighs. His unflinching gaze locks on mine until I find myself trapped within his unrelenting stare.

  “I don’t want to fight any more, Daisy.” His voice drops, becoming deeper. “The situation never should have escalated to the level that it did.”

  I nod in agreement. He’s right. It shouldn’t have.

  “Let’s call a truce. No more fighting or pranks. We have less than a year under the same roof. Then we’ll be graduating and moving on with our lives.” His voice softens, becoming almost uncertain. “We can get along for eight months without trying to poison one another, can’t we?”

  “I didn’t try to poison you,” I say quickly, but my voice lacks conviction. How did we end up in this place? I’ve never had an issue with anyone. I get along with everyone. Carter has always been the exception. I shake my head trying to make sense of it all. “I’ve never understood why you have a problem with me.”

  His gaze flickers to something at the far corner of the yard. Time slows, and I wonder if he’ll bother with an answer.

  Is there one?

  I can’t imagine what it could be.

  “There was never a problem.” Avoiding eye contact, he keeps his gaze trained on something in the distance.

  Disappointment sets in and I sputter out a laugh. For a moment there, it felt like we were making progress. Guess not. “Oh, come on,” I mock. “You’ve never liked me. You’ve always been a prick.” My upper lip curls with the memory and the subsequent confusion and hurt that quickly followed in its wake. “You never gave me a chance.”

  The longer Carter remains silent, the more restless I grow wondering if he’ll finally give me the real reason for his behavior.

  Looking distinctly uncomfortable by the forced conversation, he shifts on the lounger. His gaze bounces around the yard never once landing on me. “It was never like that.”

  I jerk upright and swing my legs around to face him. Our knees bump. This time, the contact does nothing for me.

  How can he lie with a straight face?

  This conversation is probably the longest one we’ve ever engaged in without sniping at each other. I should count that as a win and move on. Not five minutes ago, Carter called a truce.

  I need to let this go. For my own sanity.

  But I can’t.

  I want an explanation. As much as I hate to admit it, his behavior has always bothered me. It’s like a painful sliver I’ve never been able to dislodge from beneath my skin. One that’s been festering there for years.

  How can I possibly ignore it?

  I drag in a breath and attempt to settle all the rioting emotion inside me. “It’s always been like that and you know it.”

  He mutters something unintelligible under his breath.

  I lean toward him so that we’re closer. All I want is for him to look me in the eye and tell me the truth. No matter what it is, I can handle it. Only then can we move forward with a clean slate. “I’m sorry, I missed that. What did you say?”

  He glances up, his gray gaze skewering mine. My breath catches as emotion flashes in his eyes. It’s so much more than I’m used to seeing from him.

  There are times when it feels as if Carter has built a wall around himself. At least where I’m concerned. Although with other people—girls especially—he’s relaxed and even gregarious. For some reason, he’s always treated me differently.

  “I never meant to come across that way.” His voice is painfully uncertain. “Can we just forget about it and move on?”

  Even though I want to push for answers, it’s doubtful he’ll be honest with me. Maybe I just need to let it go and bury the hatchet. “Yeah, I guess we can do that.”

  He nods, relief transforms his expression. “Good.”

  His lips lift. My gaze drops unconsciously to the full sexiness of his mouth. An unwelcome rush of desire floods through my body before pooling at my core.

  What am I doing?

  It takes effort to shake myself out of the weird mental fog that has fallen over me. I shoot to my feet, needing to put a little distance between us.

  At my sudden movement, Carter bolts upward as well. You wouldn’t expect someone so large to move that fluidly, but he does. We’re practically standing toe-to-toe.

  There’s a devilish voice inside my head urging me to stroke my palms over the graphic t-shirt clinging to his chest and arms. The material wraps around his thick, sun-kissed biceps.

  Is his body this bronzed all over?

  My mouth turns cottony at the thought.

  I retreat a step in my haste to get away. As I do, my calves hit the back of the lounger and I lose my balance. Carter’s eyes widen as my arms pinwheel. He snaps forward and makes a grab for me, yanking me against his chest.

  But it’s too late. I’m falling and now I’m taking him with me. He wraps his arms around me, locking me against his bulk as we crash onto the sunbed. I brace myself for impact. He grunts as we land but I feel nothing. Carter’s body absorbs the brunt of our fall. With labored breaths, we lay entwined. My breasts are crushed against his rock-solid chest.

  “Are you okay?” A shiver dances down my spine as his warm breath feathers against my ear. That’s all it takes for my nipples to pebble. I send up a silent prayer hoping that he doesn’t feel them poking through the fabric of my shirt.

  “Yeah.” I make a concerted effort to clear the huskiness from my throat. “Sorry about that.”

  I know I’m in trouble when I have to fight the urge to burrow against his strength. Instead of doing just that, I push against his upper body, trying to separate myself from him as quickly as possible. Our limbs are tangled together. Goose bumps rise across my flesh as my calf slides against the crinkly hair of his leg.

  “I should get back inside.” The words come out sounding thick and hazy. “My mom…”

  Carter snaps to, immediately releasing his hold as if I’ve scalded every part of him.

  I scramble away and fill my lungs with fresh air. His scent surrounds me, clinging to my skin, making me feel lightheaded and achy. Once I find my footing, my hand rises, nervou
sly fluttering over my shirt and shorts.

  Carter rolls onto his back and stares up at me with enough heat to singe the hair right off my arms. I blink in bewilderment and the look disappears, leaving me to wonder if it was ever there to begin with.

  When I don’t move, he growls, “Go inside, Daisy. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  Part of me wants to stay and figure out what just happened, but I have no idea how to do that. Instead, I nod and flee to the house.

  Who would have ever thought that my mother’s presence would feel like safe harbor?

  Guess there’s a first time for everything.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Carter

  With my arm thrown over my eyes, I try to shut down the thoughts steamrolling through my head. But it’s impossible. I can’t stop replaying what happened with Daisy earlier this evening.

  The look on her face when her gaze dropped to my mouth had my dick surging to life. The temptation of her pliant body crushed against mine only made it worse. I’ve spent the last three years keeping her at a safe distance and now I’ve managed to blow all my good intentions to hell with one stupid decision. I’ve opened the door and there’s nothing I can do to slam it shut again.

  I keep telling myself that the only reason I want Daisy is because she’s the one girl I can’t have. Deep down I know it’s a lie. The way I feel about her scares the crap out of me. Maybe calling a truce wasn’t such a good idea. If there aren’t any barriers sitting between us, how am I supposed to keep her at arm’s length? Especially when all I want to do is hold her close.

  Frustrated with myself for the thoughts that won’t stop circling, I throw off the covers and swing my legs over the side of the bed before coming to my feet. I need to shake off the weird feelings that have settled over me and relegate Daisy to the back of my mind where she belongs. Where I’ve kept her since freshman year. Where she’s safe.

  It’s after midnight when I pad through the silent apartment into the kitchen. I drag a hand over my face knowing that I need to get some sleep. We have a big game tomorrow against Tennessee. I need to be clear headed when I jog out onto the field. I can’t allow this girl to get inside my head and fuck with my mojo. My future is riding on the games I play this season and how I look going into the draft.

  I need to get my head on straight.

  If I’m smart, this will be nothing more than a meaningless blip. There’s no reason that our truce has to change anything between us. Daisy and I can slide right back to the way things have always been.

  Minus me messing with her and her subsequently trying to make me shit my brains out.

  See? Now I feel better. This is doable. There’s no reason to panic. I just need to distance myself from her. Remain reserved. Cool. I’ve done it before. I can stick it out for the next eight months.

  It’s not going to be a problem.

  I grab a glass from the cabinet and fill it from the tap before guzzling down half of it. Then I set the glass in the sink. Planting my palms on the counter, I hang my head between my shoulders and suck in a deep, cleansing breath of air.

  Everything is going to be fine.

  That settled, I turn, ready to head back to my room and hopefully, if I’m lucky, not dwell on the golden blonde beauty sleeping down the hall from me. That thought leaves me groaning and my dick stirring with interest before I quickly shove her from my head.

  One thought is all it takes to get me hard.

  I swear under my breath.

  “Excuse me?”

  The sound of her voice has me jerking to a halt. Even though it’s dark in the kitchen, I see the outline of her form hovering in the doorway. My hungry gaze licks over the thin tank top that hugs her curves and tiny sleep shorts that leave her legs bare.

  Everything I’d just convinced myself of falls out of my head.

  Who the fuck was I kidding?

  Even now the urge to reach out and take her in my arms pounds through me like that of a steady drumbeat. I’ve never wanted anyone in my life the way I want her. I clench my hands at my sides so that I don’t make yet another disastrous decision.

  It takes everything I have inside to keep my voice casual. “I didn’t say anything.”

  “Oh. I thought I heard something.” Her voice is deep and raspy with sleep. It arrows straight down to my—

  “Nope.” I shake my head. “Didn’t say a word.” I’m wondering if there’s anything she could do that wouldn’t turn me on.

  Sadly, I don’t think there is.

  She frowns but doesn’t argue. Which must be a first. Apparently, we really have turned a corner.

  Yeah, I am so screwed. And not in a good way either. All my good intentions disappear.

  “It’s late. What are you doing up?” I want to stand here and drink in how gorgeous she looks with her disheveled hair tumbling around her bare shoulders.

  “Couldn’t sleep.” She shifts, and her breasts bounce with the movement.

  My gaze dips. My breath catches as her nipples stiffen into turgid little points.

  Look away, jackass!

  But I can’t. I’m mesmerized by the sight.

  Obviously noticing my creepy stalker stare, she clears her throat and folds her arms across her breasts blocking my view. A growl rumbles up from my throat before I quickly choke it back.

  Seriously? What the hell is wrong with me?

  I’m playing with fire and can’t afford to get burned. I need to get out of here before I cross a line. Before I do something that I can’t come back from.

  I force my eyes away from her. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Okay.”

  Just as I’m about to brush past her, she says, “Carter?”

  I stop and reluctantly meet her gaze. “Yeah?”

  She sucks the fullness of her bottom lip into her mouth before nipping it with her teeth. Desire rushes through me, trying to break free. I’m so close to wrapping my arms around her body and biting that sexy lower lip myself. But I don’t. Somehow, I manage to keep it together.

  Barely.

  When she doesn’t say anything more, the desperation finally gets to me and I snap without meaning to. “What, Daisy?”

  Her eyes widen at the sharp tone of my voice and she takes a quick step in retreat before shaking her head. “Nothing.”

  Before I can apologize for acting like an asshole, she withdraws from the kitchen. I close my eyes because the urge to give chase pumps wildly through me.

  But I can’t.

  I can’t do anything but let her go.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Daisy

  Noah knocks on my bedroom door and pushes it open enough to stick his head inside. “Food’s here.”

  “I’ll be out in a minute,” I say, not bothering to glance up from the book I’m reading. “I just need to finish up this section.”

  “Don’t take too long or your burger will get cold.” His stern voice has me glancing up with a grin on my face.

  “Okay, Dad.”

  “No problem, honey. Just, whatever you do, don’t call me daddy.” Noah smirks. “That would be a scarring experience for both of us.”

  “Ewww! Gross!” I pick up a pillow from my bed and throw it at him. With a chuckle he slams the door closed.

  It takes at least ten more minutes for me to highlight the passage I was reading. Even though I have a test coming up in sociology, it’s not the reason I’m dragging my feet.

  Carter.

  I’ve been doing my best to avoid him since the incident at my aunt’s house. Everything has changed between us and I don’t have a firm handle on it yet. Before, when I’d see him, the attraction was always there humming under the surface, but it was buried deep beneath the aggravation and annoyance. You take away the animosity and what are you left with?

  Yeah…just attraction. The kind that buzzes unwantedly through your system before settling uncomfortably in your belly, doing all sorts of disconcerting things to your senses. Mak
ing you long for things you should definitely not be thinking about.

  It feels safer to hide out in my room.

  “Daisy!” Noah bellows at the top of his voice. “Get your ass out here.”

  I huff out a breath and slam my book closed. Apparently, avoidance isn’t going to be a possibility with big mouth out there. I guess we’ll have to go with plan B which is hoovering up my food before escaping to my room again.

  I straighten my shoulders like I’m going to war and head out to the small dining area attached to the living room. We have a breakfast bar with three stools, which is where we normally eat our meals. With Ashley joining us, there aren’t enough seats. So, the bags of food have been spread out on the table.

  Carter, Ashley, and Noah have already dug into their food. I take my time grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge before lowering myself onto the only available chair situated between Noah and Carter.

  My eyes dart to Carter before I can stop them. The attraction humming between us has only grown stronger over the last few days. As much as I try to ignore it, that feels like a herculean task.

  Normally, I can’t wait to dig into a cheeseburger from Devon’s, the best burger joint in town, but with Carter sitting beside me, I’m a nervous, jittery mess. Even though I’m starving, my appetite has vanished. By this point, I would already have devoured half of my sandwich—that’s how good it is. But right now, I don’t feel like I can choke down a single bite. Which is a shame. I stare glumly at my food wondering if I can feign a stomachache, so I can get out of here.

  None of this makes sense. I’ve known Carter for years. I’ve always felt a tug of attraction when I’m around him, but it’s never been like this. This feels like being hit over the head with a sledgehammer.

  And then hit again.

  Stalling, I check under the bun. It’s loaded with the works, minus the onions. I can’t stand onions.

  Noah rolls his eyes. “Your dislike of onions is almost pathological.”

  I shrug. “To each their own.”

  Again, the heavenly aroma hits me. It’s almost a relief when my appetite perks up and takes notice. This thing—whatever it is with Carter—isn’t a big deal. Given enough time, it’ll go away. I just need to be persistent in ignoring the feelings that are trying to take root. Instead of dwelling on Carter, I force him from my head and take a massive bite of meat and bun. Even though I’m not totally feeling it, I manage to plow my way through half of the sandwich.